I love my friends RAVE

Since I moved out to the desert I have not seen my friends nor have I been back to my old haunts in Hollywood. Although we were not able to hook up for my 60th ( rant below on the 28th ) my two buds Bridget and Jeff drove all the way out from L.A. just to take me to lunch and celebrate my birthday. We went to a Mexican restaurant around the corner and then to Coco's for pie ( I had boysenberry which is my all time favorite ). We then hit a few thrift stores and they came over for a few minutes to my place before tackling the traffic of New Years Eve. Now is that friendship or what? What sweetie pies they are! I love my friends. They are the BEST. And I know they are gonna face the horror of L.A. traffic for New Years Eve ( Big major EEEEKKKKK!!! ). So this year, which has pretty much been a wash, ended on a high note thanks for my wonderful buddies. Thank you thank you Bridge and Jeff for driving the extra mile and cheering me up. Thank God for wonderful friends who are such a blessing. 

Video Revived The Radio Star RAVE

I just recently got a computer. Prior to that I had been on a Webtv ( which I still have ). And on the computer there are many thing one can do and see that they do not get with the high rent low memory browser of Webtv. Such as youtube.. I am an addict!  I have youtubeitis! I have discovered the music of my youth and so much more! It is great looking at old clips from Shindig and Hullabaloo. I have watched Pavlova and Little Egypt dance! And then there was Rudolph Valentino doing the tango. Not to mention the most violent dance of them all, the Apache -- which not only led to the Tango but also to the Lindy! I have discovered new bands to enjoy and new singers  -- more of older ones from the 50s or before on through the 80s. The other night I spent watching clips of "hair bands" from the 80s. That singer from Banshee is really cute -- and I am not into blonds! And that singer from Baton Rouge... now there is another cutie! It is fun watching all of this old footage. Garage bands of the 60s. Current girl goth punk bands of today. Mod and psychedelic fashions of the 60s --- check out Julie Driscoll doing Season Of The Witch. Tres cool!  Or seeing videos once seen in the 80s --- or from tv shows of the 60s. And wayyyy before that. Wild jazz music from the 20s and look at the flappers and their fashions. Wooohooohoo!!! Love em! Some of the music does not have video footage but people have put up an album cover and then played the music. And I am loving it. Of course some of the singers or bands are REALLY AWFUL. But there are also some great bands and singers to hear and enjoy. I hope to be able to do some rants raves and reviews here or on youtube in future months to comment on some of the really good and really horrible music I find. Part of the fun is reading the comments of others --- such as someone thanking the person who put up the music or video clip because it is something they had not heard in 40 years! While everyone talks of ipods and of various music channels and stations who would have known that my favorite "radio station" would turn out to be youtube? In this instance it is a case of  "video revived the radio star" --- including so many radio stars I either had never heard of or had heard of but had never heard. Here are just a few I have heard or seen in the last month or so: Sophie Tucker, Libby Holman, Helen Kane ( whom Betty Boop was inspired by ), Helen Morgan, Ruth Brown, Big Mama Thorton.  The original Shake Rattle and Roll ( it wasn't Bill Hailey and the Comets ). What a treasure! I have just started to explore rockabilly ( love anything Wanda Jackson does, what an amazing voice! ) and wait until I get to some of those old blues clips! SAC

Happy big 6-0 ( wanna drink ) Big rant

1. I am not happy today. It is my 60th birthday ansd I SHOULD be happy but it has been miserable from the git go. I was supposed to be celebrating it with family and friends and that basically did not happen. I have yet to figure out what the hell it is about me that makes my family treat me as if my life and celebrating it do not matter. Maybe because I am single never married. Maybe it is because I am the poor relation. Who knows? They have never accepted my disability as being a disability. So maybe it is their contempt of me for being disabled and they only consider me to be a deadbeat. I love my mom but no matter how I have tried she will constantly harp on the fact that heaven forbid I was a hippie chick back in the 60s. I tell her NOT to bring this up anymore, especially in light of a family member who has substance abuse problems. She can make excuses for his behavior and will then say "You did drugs blah blah blah. GET OVER IT, MOM!!!! I took up the straight and narrow half a life time ago or more and yet you go on and on and on and all I get is kicked to the curb over this issue. NO praise for who I am now and have been for DECADES. All I get is criticism because of a few short years in my turbulent youth. And today I got more of it. Excuses for the deadbeats or those who not only do not try but who will con and lie to keep up their bad behavior. I am sick of being your whipping girl. And do you make allowances for my birthday concerning this? NO. I was not responsible for the bombing on 9-11. I did not cause the Northridge quake or the L.A. riots. I am not responsible for the drug wars in Mexico. I am not the scapegoat of the universe. Nor, because I am the oldest sister of my siblings am I going to be the surrogate of the older sister of YOURS who beat up on you. I have more than bent over backwards to love you and try and please you and not one damn thing seems to make you do anything but see me as some little hippie who formerly used drugs recreationally. Last year I made a New Years resolution to not drink as there are family members who have problems with substance abuse including alcohol. This year I will make no such resolution as I definitely would have LOVED to have had a drink today... I could have used one.  Athol Brose would have been nice ( maybe for New Years day.. ). And next year my resolutions will include not to believe ( with the exception of one brother who has never flaked on me or been anything less than honest with me, a great guy; you know who you are ) anything someone in my family promises me --- especially as my mother will then find some excuse to make an excuse for them flaking on me and then will criticize me. 
   
2. Now on to the lemonade birthdays --- this birthday, which I had been so looking towards, was a big lemon as far as my family was concerned. I ranted on that enough so let me talk about my friends. I have great friends. Sure there have been false ones and turncoats along the way. But I have been blessed both with what I refer to as face to face friends and also my cyber buddies ( some call face to face friends real life friends but the truth is that many of my cyber buds as are real and more real in my life than those I have met face to face ). So my family handed me a big fat lemon for my birthday. They don't GET that my 60th birthday is on the day I was BORN 60 years ago. What is it? This is not a week day but for some freakin' reason they could not deal with actually celebrating it TODAY. And NO, the day BEFORE and the day AFTER are not THE BIRTHDAY when it is a milestone such as 60. However, while I was by my lonesome when it came to anyone being there to help me celebrate on this day in person I did get a lovely cyber party over at Prof H's newsgroup on Webtv. And I got emails from a couple of friends, was able to talk to Bridget and her hubby Johnny, got a lovely voice mail from my friend Jeff Copeland and had a nice chat with my friend David in New Mexico. So that made some lemonade of a weeping not too happy turning 60 and feeling 90 birthday... one last thing on this, it seems as if my "celebrating the 60s" theme is going to have to apply to the entire decade as it will take me at least that long to get over how my family continues to blow me off regardless of the day. 
3. Post script to my rainy day comment on suicides. One of my sisters pointed out that many suicides are committed by mentally ill, especially bi-polars. Depression sucks ( been there, had the pity party ) but I still stand by what I wrote --- for those who are not mentally ill. It does not apply to those with a mental illness. I would advise someone who is suicidal to first see if something worthwhile can help you get out of your funk. If not try and contact a mental health clinic about your problem BUT insist on being tested to see if you have a chemical imbalance as bi-polars should not take certain medications for depressives. I will be talking more on the subject of mental illness at another time. Ok, enough of this. Time to sign off on this lemonade birthday...   SAC

YOUR Wonderful Life

Over a decade ago I was in my hometown of Seattle. I had returned from visiting with an elderly great aunt who lived in Yakima. I had been in Seattle before and after that visit and while there I had enjoyed the  beauty of autumn and the blazing colors that were such a visual joy. But when I returned from my visit to my aunt I found that Seattle was dismal and gray. It was not just that it was rainy. Seattle is legendary for its rain. It rains year round, though it is not so much of a constant deluge, more of the ever present drizzle. Seattle winters are brutal when it comes to cold, wet and wind. The city that has been so vibrant in autumn's glorious gown of sunshine yellows, antique golds, flaming reds and warm browns was now leeched of color. The city was now shaded in the despairing shadows of gray gloom. This was the melancholy gray of the most sinister of depressions --- a suicide gray. According to statistics, more people commit suicide in that barren limb dreariness of winter in Seattle then in any other time of the year.

So let us talk of this time of the year. It is not only Seattle but it is the holidays of Christmas and New Years that also finds people deciding to exit this life by their own hand. Depression brings thoughts that life is no longer worth living, that life is something that a person need no longer hold on to as if it were a hoard of dragon's gold.  "No one loves me. Who will care if I am no longer here? My life does not matter." But those who kill themselves are wrong. Life IS worth living. and their lives might have made a difference if they had not selfishly decide to kill themselves. "Selfishly?" You might ask. How can one say that some poor soul who had decided to end their life is selfish? But killing oneself is a selfish and a cowardly act. It is a craven act against God and against life itself. 

What are the odds that one will be born in the first place?  It is chance and circumstance that has written much of that tale. What were the odds your parents would meet, that you would be conceived and then be born? Pretty astronomical, if one stops to think about it. And now you want to toss it all away. Why? Because your life is as gray as the weather outside. Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. I think I will eat worms and die. Oh boohoo! I am not accepting an invitation to your pity party. Nor would I show up at your funeral to mourn one who tossed away this great gift that was given to them.  

In the movie classic "It's A Wonderful Life" Jimmy Stewart plays a distraught banker of a small town who is facing ruin. He decides he will kill himself. Instead he "saves" his guardian angel who grants him his wish when he exclaims "I wish I had never been born." It turns out that he had lived a wonderful life that had saved others from poverty and even from death. His life had been a life worth living and at the end of the movie he realizes this. 

So what about your own wonderful life? Isn't it worth living? One can wallow in self-pity and depression to the point of considering or attempting suicide. Or they can do the best to find a way to make themselves feel good. Sometimes this can be a personal thing such as reading  an uplifting book or tackling some job around the house that needs doing and will make one feel satisfied once it is done. But there are other things one can do. Get off your duff and put aside your personal misery. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or a local homeless shelter. If you know of elderly or disabled neighbors, check on them and ask if you might help them in some way. It is YOUR wonderful life and you can use it to make others live better lives just because you are living and have chosen to give of yourself. 

Do not let the gray or the drear keep you down. Uplift the spirits of others and find out just how much your own life is really worth. You might be pleasantly surprised. 

Snooty Aunt Cynthia