So Cute So Hot So Old

long time since here

2011-08-06T15:52:00.000-07:00

I am thinking of possibly making a new blog that can end up as a book. But I should probably actually post here once in a blue moon. I hadn't been to twitter since May and it has been long here, not since March!'

BIG NO To X Factor

2011-03-30T22:44:00.000-07:00

Well, Libby and I did NOT try out for X Factor though we DID read their release form that basically would have made us their unpaid slave labor if we had been stupid enough to sign it. It also would have made them the owner of any original songs one were to preform on the show --- without any money. Talk about corporate greed! But then why is this no surprise for a show on Fox? A show owned by Brits on tv station owned by an Aussie to screw over American artistic talent?

It never fail to amaze me ( though why should it because we are talking about corporations who are EVIL as satanically evil ) the outrageous GALL and GREED of these large corporations. It is not enough that these multi-millionaires and billionaires are not satisfied with the millions they rake in from advertising on any given night. They also have to stiff the artistic talent that they are supposedly going to "help" become discovered.

Ok, so I AM the great unknown super star with her 10,000 plus songs ( not to mention my other writings, fashion designs etc ) that no one knows about. But no one will know me as a putout ( and plenty have gone the way of the casting couch ) or the sellout when it comes to what I create or getting my foot in the door that has never been opened for me, not in over 25 years.

Maybe I don't have fortune and fame but I DO HAVE self-respect and integrity . And somehow I don't think that I have ended up with the short end of the stick. But I don't know if I would say that about the poor schmucks who waited in line for hours in the rain to end up paying for wayyyyy over priced food and drink, end up being treated lower than chihuahua crap and then see great singers passed over while crummy delusionals were passed through to make for so-called "good" television.

I Got You, Dawg

2011-03-15T01:48:00.000-07:00

I GOT A DAWG!!!! I cannot believe that I have bought myself a little chihuahua. His name is Sontheimer Angel Rattino, known as Sonny. He is soooooo cute ( gush gush ). He turns 3 months old on March 22. It has been over 50 years since I had a dog. It is so strange to hold a furry creature and not have him PURR. He has golden tan fur and little white angel like "wings" below his shoulder blades. And he is a love. :-)

Senior Bullies

2011-03-04T01:52:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine moved out today. She had been evicted. While it is true that she could be abrasive she had a good heart. She was also disabled, about a year younger than me. I now have a little garden thanks to her help and encouragement. It seems that other people have been helped by her also. She did laundry for one person, helped others with their gardens ( as well as me ). If I had a surplus of something I could give it to her and know that others would receive it. So this morning she hoped on a bus, left most of her possessions behind, and took off for the great unknown. She has my address and phone number and a self stamped envelope to let me know how she is doing when she gets to where she is going. And why did she get evicted? Because of a nasty neighbor. I only heard this neighbor once banging on my friend's wall in the middle of the day. My friend looked as if she was going to jump out of her skin and said that this person did this to her all of the time.

The person in question was a little old lady in her 80s. Now there seems to be a belief that if you are "old" ( 80s and beyond ) that you can not be a nasty person. When did someone who has been and done evil all of their life suddenly turned into a nice person? In my case I was hit by a car at the age of 36 by a woman in her 80s. The accident had been preventable. I am now 62 and the injuries I got from that accident never went away. The woman would have been a hit and run except other people in cars flagged her down. As it was, she lied about me in a deposition. People do not want to believe that someone who has lived so long can be evil or mean.

Today, after my friend had moved out, I met the nasty woman who had hounded her, a senior bully. I went to collect my mail and a person matching her description was there. As I went to walk away she blocked my way so that I brushed against her ( and not on purpose for my part ). She muted something and gave me a nasty look and I said "I'm sorry" and walked past. But I could see the meanness in her. And now I know who she is. She was talking to someone else at the mailbox. I do not know this person. Maybe she knows I am the person who helped her next door neighbor. I will ignore her and she will probably ignore me ( I assume ). But if she decides to say anything about me to anyone that is a lie then she had better watch her step. I no longer suffer fools gladly and that does not matter how old they are.

Ponderosa Lemonade and Scheherazade

2011-02-23T01:26:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I went to the Indio Date Festival to watch ostriches race ( an ostrich chariot race is very, very funny ). I wore a tshirt I have made called "Scheherazade of Song" and 10,001 songs and counting. It mentioned on the tshirt that I had used songwriting to help me when I have a problem with clinical depression. Of course it is shameless self-promotion but that is ok. It also is something that I hope can help someone if they have depression and maybe finding what gives them joy will help them through it. I need to give it a quick wash and then maybe wear it out when I go shopping.

I was talking with my girlfriend Bridge and mentioned if I were to write my autobiography that I would call it "Ponderosa Lemonade." One of my favorite phrases is the Pollyanna one of "When life hands you a lemon make lemonade."I explained to Bridge that Ponderosa lemons were the size of a big grapefruit. My mom has a Ponderosa lemon tree in her backyard. And the lemons life has given me have certainly been Ponderosa ones! I mentioned how the accident in 85 thant injured me had been a big lemon but that the lemonade made from it had been the 10,000 some odds songs that were written and my move to Hollywood. A lemon there was living there for almost 18 years and not becoming rich and famous and remaining poor and obscure. BUT the lemonade was that I was/am so blessed with having met my dear friends Betty Hier ( RIP ), my wonderful friends Bridge and so many others as well. So things happen for reasons.

crabby day

2011-02-23T01:19:00.000-08:00

I woke up with itises and spasms making me crabby and depressed. March will be a month of change for my friend Susan and my friend Angie. Susan is moving because of a nasty neighbor. do not let someone tell you that because a person is old that they are suddenly a "good" person. Not true! All children are angels, are teens are brats and little devils and all seniors are good. NOPE! I can remember from my own childhood when there was some kid who would make your skin crawl, the kind who would torture animals and the like. You could feel the evil. and I was injured by a woman in her 80s who would have been a hit and run if other cars had not flagged her down and told her she had injured a woman ( then 36 ) on a bicycle. She then proceeded to lie in her deposition about me. The woman harassing Susan is in her 80s and as nasty as can be.

So here I was today in a crabby mood and had to try and explain to my neighbor that I am just crabby today. I am trying to help her with her move and I know it is hard on her. She is about a year younger than me, maybe less. and she has ms and cancer and is a cancer survivor ( had two breasts removed ) as well. So how do you console someone who is going through stress when you are feeling crabby? Well, Lord, I TRY.

Also, called one of my favorite buds, my dear dear friend, Bridge and if I get lucky she might be coming to see me this weekend with another dear friend, Jeff. So crabby but feeling good as well.

Skillet - Monster (Video)

2011-01-25T08:08:00.000-08:00

Warrior Soul - The Losers

2011-01-25T07:39:00.000-08:00

Falconer - The Past Still Lives On

2011-01-25T07:14:00.000-08:00

Falconer - Mindtraveller

2011-01-25T07:11:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday Libby and Coachella/Stagecoach

2011-01-19T23:03:00.000-08:00

Today my younger sister turned 29 again. She is the same age as me . So happy happy birthday Libby hot mama and many many more. Now about those festivals. Coachella is in April and is a mile or so from my house ( everyone is coming to see me; ok, maybe not ). Duran Duran, Kings of Leon, Black Keys, Kanye West, the Strokes, a bunch of other people. Now me, I would probably feel more at home at Rocklahoma. Or with a Finnish metal band lineup festival. LETMESEE: Indio Finnish Gothic Metal Festival. That would work for me...

Then there is the Stagecoach Festival which is for two days rather than three is 100 bucks less. And the line up there is pretty good: Kenny Chesney, Rascal Flatts, Carrie Underwood and more importantly, Wanda Jackson and Loretta Lynn who truly are legends. Might actually break down and go to that one! :-) We'll see...

Finland ROCKS!!!!!

2011-01-15T02:32:00.000-08:00

I posted some videos on my blog via youtube from just two bands in Finland. what is going on in Finland anyway? Weird..... Some amazing bands. There is Nightwish with their melodically infectious Amaranth and The Islander. There is Entwine with their haunting Refill My Soul ( and others ) and the rather unknown but delightfully psychedelic 60s sound with a lead singer ( Henry lee Roots ) that bring to mind both the appearance and the sound vocally and the late Jim Morrison.

So what is it about Finland?

Maybe I should volunteer to work for Santa's workshops if he sends me home with some Finnish rock and roll CDs... :-)

Spiha - Planet Horse

2011-01-14T23:07:00.000-08:00

SPIHA -neversleep

2011-01-14T23:05:00.001-08:00

Spiha - If i ever let you go

2011-01-14T23:05:00.000-08:00

Entwine-Refill My Soul

2011-01-14T23:04:00.000-08:00

Oh BOO HOO HOO

2011-01-13T05:30:00.000-08:00

Pass the barf bag please!!!!!! While the city of Tucson mourns the narcissist from Wahilla has decided that SHE is the victim in this tragedy. And there are those who support her whiny little rant. Ok, her is the deal, Scare-ah ( she IS scary ) --- this is NOT about YOU. I realize that you had thought that having someone ghost a book for you and then having a reality trash tv show would make you a "star" ( since it was more profitable than actually serving a job you had been voted into ) you now seem to have a problem with those who criticize you ( and justifiably so ). GET OVER YOURSELF. THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU. Six people died in Tucson and 13 others were wounded. ONE of those wounded people was a Jewish Congresswoman who took you to task when you put up a map with crosshair targets that included your district. You incite your followers to violence and then you turn around and go boohoohoo when something like this happens. They are persecuting YOU. YOU are the injured party. Say what? You WERE NOT THE INJURED PARTY! Those on the right are gonna rant about the liberals blah blah blah big barf bag needed to see their stupid rants. EGAD. It is so obviously that these people have been watching Faux News WAYYYYYYY too long! I formerly had a neighbor who watched Faux News obsessively. That is what these Faux junkies are like. They are completely brainwashed. And yet those on Faux News have ADMITTED they are NOT news, they are "entertainment." That is their way of not being held accountable for their LIES AND PROPAGANDA.

Scare-ah JUST SHUT UP. Your untalented daughter could not dance and you tried to make that into a political issue of people "hating you." Your entire family and you just need to GO AWAY. You are paranoid if you think anyone cares about your opinion on this issue. Because we don't. You are an insult to intelligent people and you are unspeakably annoying... As far as this issue is concerned, if YOU had had a brain or common decency you would have posted an apology concerning the crosshairs thing. And going on the defensive was a really, really dumb thing to do.

As far as the blood libel thing --- you so need to apologize for saying that. You need to apologize to the Jews. You also gave a bad name to Christians concerning that. I know the history of the Christian church and it was the Catholic church that used that. True Christians at the time were referred to as heretics and were also slaughtered and had their faith lied about and vilified. You need to apologize to the people who lost loved ones or who were injured. And you know what? You need to apologize for all of the liberals and moderates whom you have offended with your vile accusations about us. Because it is not about YOU. And yes, your stupid crosshair thing that you had up, while maybe not responsible for the shooting in Tucson, it fed the fire that led to it. Shame shame shame on you!

Kelly Keeling "Perfect Day"

2010-11-06T22:23:00.000-07:00

The Cult - Fire Woman (HQ)

2010-11-06T22:19:00.000-07:00

The Cult "Rain"

2010-11-06T22:16:00.000-07:00

I Got A Line On You by Spirit

2010-11-06T22:11:00.000-07:00

Betty Everett - You're no good

2010-11-06T22:08:00.000-07:00

my favorite radio station

2010-11-06T22:05:00.000-07:00

Ah youtube! I LOVE it! And now I figured out how to post some videos here ( share ) of some of the amazing music I have found there. Enjoy!

Nightwish - Amaranth

2010-11-06T21:55:00.000-07:00

banshee - shoot down the night

2010-11-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

Baton rouge-the price of love

2010-11-06T21:46:00.000-07:00

The Gossip - Your Mangled Heart, Fashion Rocks 2007

2010-11-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

fever - Little Willie John - 1956

2010-11-06T21:26:00.001-07:00

Check it out... it smokes!

FEVER - Little Willie John - 1956

2010-11-06T21:25:00.000-07:00

Blessed Are The Peacemakers

2010-03-30T08:53:00.000-07:00

It has been all over the news about the arrest of members of a "Christian" militia group. There is a reason I put Christian in quotation marks. They say they believe in the rapture. Check. I believe that. They say they believe there will be an antichrist who will rise to power. Check. I believe that. They say they believe there will be a one world government. Check. I believe that. I consider all of that to be scriptural. But that is pretty much when I part ways with this bunch. It is reported that this group believes they will pick up the sword and fight against the antichrist which they believe is the government. Say what? Sorry, but what part of "blessed are the peacemakers" didn't they get? Did they happen to miss that part of the Gospel?

When I read about the Christians of the past it is the Christian missionaries who spoke the Gospel and took it fearlessly to those who often martyred them. These Christians are the ones who stand out with a shining light as examples. When men take up the sword of war in the name of Jesus it is not the Light of Christ that shines but their fanaticism, their hatred of others that darkens any truth of the Gospel. One has only to look at the Crusades as an example.

Did Jesus take up the sword? No, he did not. As Christians we are supposed to follow His example. Killing others in His name profanes and makes a mockery of His name. I am thankful these misguided individuals were caught before they could have harmed others. It breaks my heart that so many who say they love Jesus are so full of hate for others and even talk of killing people as if God wants them to do that. This bunch allegedly talked of killing police and any bystanders who got in their way!

Yes, there will be a one world government and a one world religion. There will be a one world ruler whom the world will follow and worship. But scripture is clear concerning this evil man. Scripture told the church of Philadelphia that it would be kept from the hour of temptation that will try the entire world. This speaks to me of the rapture. Those who will be left behind will be unable to war against the antichrist as the Scripture says that he will rule the world and that those who would defy him, who do not take his number or worship him will be killed.

It would be better for these so-called "Christians" to read the Gospel and follow the Prince of Peace by example. And that example does not call for them to take up the sword and war against someone. It calls for them to take up the cross of Jesus, to deny themselves and to follow Jesus. The Great Physician and the Prince of Peace would never advocate violence, and especially violence against lawmakers and innocent bystanders, in His name. God forgive these misguided individuals and may He show them HIS truth rather than the lie of the devil that they were deluded into following in God's name.

Violence is not patriotism

2010-03-24T22:48:00.000-07:00

Well the wingnuts are at it again but this time they are not content to merely call people nasty names to prove they are bigots. The extreme far right has decided to show its disapproval by breaking windows, cutting someone's gas line ( a relative of a member of Congress ) and by threatening the lives of members of Congress and their families. There is nothing patriotic to such horrible and criminal behavior. It does not matter what party a person is a member of. There is no excuse for this. NONE. This is homegrown terrorism, pure and simple. How DARE anyone take it upon themselves to threaten the lives and safety of members of Congress and their family! HOW DARE YOU! How dare you think you somehow have the RIGHT to try and force your opinion on our elected officials by threatening their lives and the lives of their loved ones! It doesn't matter what the reason is. You don't like how someone voted? Vote them out! THAT, my friend, is the American Way. To threaten the lives of those whom you disagree with --- that is a dictatorship, that is terrorism. And when you do that you are a traitor to our country and all that it stands for. Shame on you. It shows you up as a bully. And I have neither patience or sympathy towards bullies. Oh and a PS to those who use our airwaves and our tv stations to promote violence and hatred towards others --- by calling for violent revolution against our Federal government YOU are also guilty of treason. And that is not covered under the First Amendment. If ANY of our elected officials or a single member of their family is injured or dies as the result of the inciting of unstable minds to commit acts of violence then those who incited them should not be held innocent of wrongdoing.

I STILL Want My Boombox ( and artistic rant )

2010-03-24T03:33:00.000-07:00

A family member posted a rather snide comment the other day because of my wanting to be able to go out and buy a boombox with the ability to record my songs. I don't know, maybe he thought he was being funny with his little comments about it being archaic and like a oxcart or a victrola. The only problem is that it wasn't funny. It was MEAN. I truly wish that I was good at tech things and could figure out how to record my songs on a computer. But it is not something I have figured out. It is easy on the boombox. And I have some great songs that I have recorded. And I believe there would be more great songs that could be recorded but I can't find a boombox. The only ones that have been out there, if you can even find them, have horrible sound quality.

I create. Creativity pours out of me. And I need something simple. I am a creative genius. I realize my family does not give a crap or believe in me. This is how God made me. He made me to create songs and fantasy and whatever ( poetry, art, fashion design ). I have handicaps when it comes to certain things and while I have tried to work around those things there are just some things that I can't seem to do no matter how hard I try. Besides, I would rather write, sing, paint, etc. Trying to force oneself to do something does not work. I am 61 years old. I am not going to be a geek. I admire geeks but I am not one. So my rant about something that WORKS FOR ME is a valid rant. I know there are thousands of people out there ( maybe millions ) who can relate to this particular issue. And in my case it is not only wanting to listen to old music on cassette tapes but also to record my own songs.

My family counts me out. But then they have always done so. I don't know if I can ever remember my family ever giving a damn about what I do or encouraging me. Oh they occasionally will say they like my poetry but I am not a poet. I WAS a poet when I was younger. Did I ever get any encouragement then? No. Any criticism was teardown rather than constructive.

Who knows? Maybe my family is so disdainful because I went to Hollywood and actually tossed my Bohemian beret into the cesspool of the entertainment industry. Letmesee, I hobbled off to Hollywood at age 40 and was neither a putout ( which would have made me a whore ) or a sellout ( which would have made me a fool ). So it makes me a holdout. And holdouts are not appreciated or respected unless they actually collect on the dues they have paid. Which has not happened yet. Will it ever happen? I hope so. I hope my ship comes in. I have been paying berth dues on it forever.

I am sick of working my ass off and getting nothing but attitudes from people who have always been too busy to actually sit down and READ some of my fantasy or listen to me sing some of my original songs. THEY DON'T KNOW ME. And it is sad but I don't think they ever will. Because they don't care and never have. I am a stranger to them. I wonder if some of them ( I m not singling any of them out so if anyone reads this and says "Oh she is talking about me" no I am not, it is in general, not one person in particular ) realize that the way they have treated me over the years is so mean spirited, so judgmental and self-righteous? I know my siblings ( with one exception ) have been hard working and I admire them for that. BUT I also know they have looked down their nose at my disabilities and consider it to be an excuse to be "lazy." But none of them know how hard I have worked and struggled.

So I will continue to write and sing and just pray that some day all this hard work will pay off. And then maybe my family will "appreciate" me. But I doubt it. If they don't care now why should they care if it finally pays off for me?

It hurts to not find a boombox. DAMN. I hate so called "progress." Give me back my boombox.

As far as the family, well you can't give them back to me because I don't think I ever had them in the first place. :-(

I guess this really brings home to me that I miss my friends in Hollywood. No, I did not become rich and famous there but I met some wonderful people and I miss them so much. Coming to the desert and having most of my family throw me under the bus after having kicked me to the curb really makes me appreciate what I had in Hollywood. And besides wanting my boombox back I want a cheap Hollywood apartment back to so I could be back where I belong, back with the beautiful losers who appreciate that my mind wears a psychedelic kaleidoscope rather than a gray flannel 9 to 5 mentality.

Maybe my family member was right. Maybe some things have gone the way of the dinosaur. But I still want my boombox back, I wish I had a cheap apartment in Hollywood that trust fund babies priced me out of, I wish I had back the family my rose colored glasses I used to wear told me I had.

Well, time to go fill up the half full glass I refuse to see as half empty with the lemonade I am making out of the lemons life has given me.

Depression sucks.

This Is Not Acceptable Behavior

2010-03-22T23:04:00.000-07:00

When some of our members of Congress were walking into Congress this weekend they were greeted with protesters who screamed out the "N' word ( they were men of color ) or the "F" word ( the one that rhymes with maggot rather than the one that rhymes with luck ).

This is not acceptable behavior. What is it about our bi-racial President and this Democratic Congress that brings out the racists and the bigots? It is troubling to see, not only these lowlife gutter scum screeching out horrid slurs, the response from the right and that includes the supposed mainstream of the Republican party.

I have friends who are Republicans. In fact my very best friend online is a Republican and I love her dearly. I think that others and she should join the Democratic Party. If they do not care for the platforms on social issues then they need to find or join a Conservative Democratic organization to address those issues. But their party is falling apart when it takes its platform from a tv station owned by an Australian man who already owns the media in his home country.

Regardless of what party, there should be no room in any party for derogatory slurs directed at members of Congress concerning a person's race or sexual orientation. It is not acceptable behavior in polite society. Even if you do not agree with someone there is no excuse for that sort of language, that sort of disrespect.

Unless one is lowlife gutter scum.

I WANT MY BOOM BOX BACK!!!!!!!! MAJOR RANT

2010-03-20T03:59:00.000-07:00

About two years ago I made a NASTY discovery ( and it had gotten worse ) --- I discovered that it was virtually impossible to get an audio cassette recorder. I am not just talking about what I REALLY want but what I really NEED. That would be a double cassette player-recorder. Panasonic formerly made a really good one and YES, since the speaker on one side blew out I WANT ANOTHER ONE DAMN AND I WANT IT YESTERDAY!!!!!! But now one can hardly find a hand held cassette recorder. GRRRRRRRR!!! It seems that TPBT ( the powers that be ) made some stupid decision that those of us who record songs ( in my case it is my own original songs ) should have to learn how to do all this on a computer, that we should put all of our music on an MP3 player or ipod blah blah blah.

There is just one itty bitty problem with this( ok, so there are A LOT of problems with this but one main one ) --- those of us who were born before 1980 REALLY LIKE our cassette boomboxes ( the same way we also prefer LPs to CDs which sorry for those digital junkies, do not sound half as good ). We have boxes and boxes of cassettes from the 70s and the 80s etc and a lot of that stuff one can not find except for hordes of cash.

In my own case it is wanting to be able to record rough cuts of my original songs and not spend a fortune for it. Not to mention --- it is a heck of a lot easier to push a button that says record and sing into the built in mic ( ok, I cheat and hook up another mic with a little echo as well ) and the sound comes out pretty good and real good depending. THAT I can do!

But try and learn it on a computer? That means fiddling with this thing and that thing and then adjust this and that and then after that you need to do this and do that and then of course that is not quite right so you need to adjust this and push that and pull out this and then you need to do this and then you might lose everything you created and by then the little men with the white coats are coming to take you away and not hahahaha take you away either.

First of all in the good old days ( 3 years or so ago ) one could still find a boombox ( double with built in mic ) for under 100 bucks and the sound quality rocked. NOW, if one actually wants to get a decent cassette system ( and good luck in finding them even online ) one is expected to shell out thousands for fancy stereo components and find someone with an engineering degree to hook it up for you.

With the good old boombox you plugged it in put in a tape, twiddled with the equalizer a tad, pressed a button and you were good to go. I am a major tech dummy ( ok, ok,THE tech dummy of the universe ) and even I can do that! I could and did and have hundreds of cassette tapes of MY SONGS to prove that.

And on the low end, if you can find something, it is under 50 bucks and the sound quality is CRAP and usually there is no built in mic and of course it is not a double cassette player. I WANT MY BOOM BOX BACK!!! And put it in the damn stores thank you very much.

I don't want to order it online. The rotten one I have now I bought from the Panasonic website a few years back, they sent me a demo or a return ( I think it was the latter ), it took two months to send back, after jumping through customer service hoops. They then sent me another lemon. After that I just gave up the ghost.

But you know what is really pathetic? It is knowing that I would grovel to get my greedy little hands on ANOTHER of the same kind ( but without the blown speaker ). Are you listening, Panasonic? Or Sony or RCA and all the rests of you who are shoving ipods and MP3 players down our throats! I don't want my Mp3! I want my fat juicy smooth analog easy to use machine!

Do they even have a CLUE as to how many of us boomers are out there and we want our BOOMER BOXES back! It has really stifled me as how the heck do I get my songs recorded? I don't read or write music but I have some great tunes runnin' around in my head and need to get them recorded. I am NOT some fancy computer programmer with a doctorate who can figure out ANY computer music program --- unless it is a one button and sing into a mic routine.

And even then in these economic times why should someone have to shell out a thousand bucks or more just to record what sounds better on a 100 buck boom box? I just need a little double cassette boom box with a built in mic so I can record my original songs and dub a copy of them to send to my friends in Mississippi and Wales. To TPTB: can you send me one or ok maybe half a dozen? I will pay full price and I would be eternally grateful ( but no more lemons! ). PLEASE. And make that pretty please and a song sung for my supper on top of it.

PS I might add that these cassette recorders also work great for recording grandparents and their old memories.

10,000 songs and one more

2010-03-17T02:37:00.001-07:00

Ok, I now have a little more to say. On Valentine's Day I finished up writing my 10,000th song. And I am such a laze I have only written one more since then. Of course I am now working on another project which I started on ( not realizing it was a project at the time ) a few years back. I am now over 780 fantasy worlds into the 1001 fantasy worlds project. Other projects sort of in the works: the rock and roll band ( I saw Janis Joplin live when 18 and never you mind if I was high or not but I decided then that I wanted to be a rock star. I am 61. Dreams sometimes refuse to die ) I want to form at the new senior center a block away. I would then like to see about maybe getting a 1001 song project started ( having others and myself record a 1001 songs of my 10,001 songs ), and a 1001 stories project ( to be started after my 1001 fantasy worlds is completed ) which should then take me a few years or more. Why the 1001? Because I live in Indio ( though I SOOOOO miss my Hollywood friends and the awesome thrift stores there ). And Indio has the Riverside County Fair, the Date Festival, patterned after the Arabian Nights which were 1001 nights.

Some times there is big big frustration and one wonders if anyone knows or cares at all what has been my life's work. But being the creative genius... I wake up and my fingers itch to write. It just pours out of me, the creativity, because that is who I am. That is who God made me. I will just view it as a blessing even though I am living my life in poverty and obscurity. I can't afford to buy music so God has given me songs to sing that are uniquely mine. I don't have the money for art so I am given the blessing of seeing kaleidoscopes of color in my mind and can create my own art. I love to read fantasy and so much of it nowadays are just textbooks of how to practice witchcraft and magic ( BARF ) rather than actually using one's imagination to create a world of fiction, so I have been given worlds of imagination to wander through and create. So this is God's blessing for me. Even though there are naysayers that consider me to be a worthless bum. If you are artistic and poor you are the equivalent of ewwwww something scrapped off the bottom of a shoe. If you are artistic and rich you are worthy to be cast in gold or whatever to be worshipped and adored as an icon and idol. I don't want to the latter ( rich and famous, sure but worshipped iconically, no ) merely to be respected for my craft. Another blessing is that I do have friends who are artistic whom I treasure. They respect me as a peer which means more than the world to me. I am honored by their friendship and I love them dearly. Now if I only wasn't estranged from the family that feels they have the right to judge me and say they "know me." Self-absorbed, they sit in judgment. They do not have a rat's ass clue as to whom I am, not as a person and certainly not as the mad-eyed Bohemian that I ever profess to be. Off to stick a nose in a book. R is for Ricochet if you are so nosy as to want to know..

St Paddy's Day

2010-03-17T01:24:00.000-07:00

I haven't been posting in my blog much of late ( bad bad me ) and I really need to do that. Lots of rants and a few raves as well. But this is just a short post. So since it is in the wee hours of St Patrick's Day, everyone have a good one!

Haiti

2010-01-13T09:22:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted here in ages but felt I really needed to comment on this. This quake is such a tragedy. And yet, the people of this country, alone in the dark with terrifying aftershocks, sang and praised God for their survival. Haiti, California prays for you. We are well acquainted with earthquakes. I was living in Hollywood when the Northridge quake hit and have spasms ( from a pre-existing condition ) as the result of a fall during that time. I know there are people, too many, who have lost their lives and will have debilitating conditions much worse than the spasms I still live with. My heart and my prayers go out to the people of Haiti. God bless you all for your fortitude and your courage in the midst of this disaster.

Cynthia

Boomer Luxor

2009-09-25T01:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I meandered on down to the Senior Center for Boomer Night. There were a number of people there. So what did I do? I went over to play a video game called Luxor. I tried it on Monday and got under 10,000. Well tonight I did not move from the time i got there at 5 pm till it closed at 8pm. And my score was over a million and a third! Whoa! Yep, these things can be addicting.

I was interviewed and had my photo taken by some young reporter from the Indio Desert Sun ( part of the Palm Springs Desert sun ). He interviewed other people so I don't know if my interview and photo will show up but will check with the Desert Sun's website to see. If it does I will post about it here, along with the url. I did mention to him that I would like to start a boomer band and mentioned I had written over 9500 songs.

Maybe next boomer night I might actually go and socialize a bit hahaha!

Indio Senior Center

2009-09-22T01:55:00.000-07:00

I went to the opening of the Indio Senior Center on Saturday. Among other speakers ( as if anyone cared, we all wanted to get to the free food hahahaha ) was Mary Bono-Mack. So I went up and introduced myself as the starving artist- songwriter that I am and mentioned that it would be nice if there was a sliding scale for the copyrights people need. The rate for filing a copyright has gone up in less than twenty years from 10 bucks to 45 and for all I know it might be even more than that now. I have written over 9500 songs, a fantasy book ( hollyWEIRD ) and a bunch of poetry, etc. I am prolific. And it is just too freakin' expensive to copyright everything I want to copyright. So I mentioned this and said there should be something to help the poor starving artist ( which there are definitely more of than the rich and famous artist ). She looked annoyed. She mentioned ASCAP and BMI and I said maybe I could contact them. And then she said, when I said, maybe talking to them to LOBBY for sliding scales for the poor artist, that no but maybe they could help me financially. Ah huh. But there SHOULD be a sliding scale and one can sign it under penalty of perjury with fines if say someone is rich or earning more than allowed. A little postscript of this: I met Sonny Bono when he was the mayor of Palm Springs. It was after I had started to write songs. I asked him about songwriting, thinking he might know some place here in the Coachella Valley to do something about songs and the like. His reply "Go to Hollywood." I DID and while I didn't achieve anything resembling fame and fortune I feel I found something better - some lifetime friends and memories of friends I had met and known there who have since passed away. So I think his advice was great considering the true wealth I found there.

The senior center rocked. It is just gorgeous and has a nice library, game room, other stuff. I am hoping to start hanging out there, start a club/class or two and see if I can put together a band of boomers. Oh YEAH. I went back there yesterday and played some game in the game room, looked through a couple of books, had some crabby old lady yell at me when I spent about 5 minutes on a treadmill going VERY SLOW. And whomever she is, I was nice to her but will see what sort of a crabapple she is if she is there on a regular basis. I can be kissy kiss if need be because I definitely intend to use this little center to promote me and yes, to spread my love of art, writing, painting, singing, etc. It would be nice to find some new fans to enjoy what I create. So we will see.

I am now on Facebook and it is fun, able to post photos there ( haven't figured out how to do it here; it might be easy but I don't know because I am the tech dummy of the universe... ).

I am thinking of starting a writing blog... we will see.

SAC

After A Long Absence...

2009-09-15T14:47:00.000-07:00

Well it has been over two months since I posted here. I have since joined Facebook ( Cynthia Summers, I am the one with the little hat, hair upswept, 60s style glasses and earrings ). I have some photos of me ( I am so vain ) and some of my art work posted online there. I do not know yet how to do that sort of thing here. I am sure there is a trick to it but the tech dummy here has not yet figured it out.

I have done a few things since my last post. I have been working on my fantasy, organizing it and scribbling a few stories, discovered I can use fabric paints on canvas so have made some fashion sketch abstract background paintings.

And then there is the depression... which is no fun. I think it is too things. First there is the fact that while I love my mom we don't get along that well. She constantly criticizes me and then she turns around and praises the brother who did a lot to hurt me. So I don't talk to her much and I seldom see her. And that is disappointing. When I moved out here I thought I could help her out even though I am disabled. But she doesn't want to be helped. And letting her vent by criticizing me or those who do help her -- I don't feel that is constructive at all. So I will just tell her I am gonna hang up if she continues to do that. Maybe it is a habit with her but one she needs to break.

The other thing is that it has been a long hot summer here. And I do not like to stay inside ALL DAY and night. I occasionally would make a quick run to the store which is a block away. But not in the heat of the day. When I moved here from Hollywood I didn't envision that there would be much of a difference because my night clubbing days were pretty much over. But what I didn't realize was that I was roaming around in the day. I didn't realize to what degree until after I moved here and ended up stir crazy from being cooped up for months on end! I would duck out to he drugstore or nearby thrift store, go out for lunch. Never gave it a thought. It is closer to In N Out than it was to El Pollo Loco or Molly's Grill but ducking out for a bite to eat when it is 70 or 80 is a heck of a lot different than walking 2 or 3 blocks when it is 110 outside! Live and learn but oh I soooo miss Hollywood!

It is September now and the new Senior Center opens near me, walking distance. I look forward to it as then maybe I will have somewhere I can go in the heat of the summer. I am so bored by staying inside. And I look forward to when it finally cools down... to 85 or so.

Make up by Louise

2009-07-15T02:06:00.000-07:00

I got a pleasant surprise the other day while talking to my best sis Libby. I called her up and she told me she was coming out to the desert. Now consider the fact that it has been hotter than hell ( my wisecrack about the desert heat is that hell is where the devil goes to cool off from the summer heat of Indio here in the CoacHELLa Valley ) and over 110 I thought WHY would my sister, who lives near the beach in Orange County, be coming for a visit in JULY? I was not expecting her to visit me until the end of September at the earliest. So she told me she was coming out and bringing my cousin Louise who was visiting from near Seattle. Oh kay... so why would Louise want to come out to where it was hotter than hell? They came out to visit the madre and to give her a makeover. We all went out to Sizzlers for lunch ( mom's treat for me which was nice ) and then we went back to their hotel to do the makeover.

Louise has been selling Mary Kay cosmetics for about 3 months. She gave both mom and me makeovers and WOW! One would think Louise had been doing makeup for decades professionally --- she was that good. I have never seen my mom wearing eye shadow in her life. And she looked GREAT! And then there was ME. By the time Louise got done prettying me up I looked like a candidate for the trophy wife of some rich old dude. And I never knew that I could wear pale pink lipstick and look so fabulous! Just amazing!

There are some pictures of yours truly in all of her snootiness on some websites. Best way to find them is put in Cynthiangel Just My Sites in google search or maybe put in Snooty Pix ( it has a shaneadams, one of my aliases for a url ). And one day the tech dummy here will figure out how to upload photos to my blog.. if I can get Hal to help me that is. He has not been so great anymore about getting over and helping the tech dummy of the universe because he has to go hiking... oh well.

But I have some photos that were taken of mom ( need to get em developed ) and bet they turn out lovely.

Talked to mom and she went to the storage place today. She asked me if I wanted to go there tomorrow. I DON'T THINK SO! It is 115 out there and no shade and she thinks I want to rummage around in my storage unit? Julian and she plan to go tomorrow These two go running around the desert in his crummy car which has NO air conditioning. Can you say DESERT RATS???? They are nuts ( desert nuts... ) and if I were to tag along with them I would also be nuts as well --- and probably in a hospital from sun stroke..

SAC

They Are Going To Hell...

2009-07-11T02:16:00.001-07:00

In the Bible there is the story of Lazarus the beggar and the rich man. Lazarus sits out in front of the rich man's gate and tries to get some of the crumbs that are thrown out for the dogs. When the two men die Lazarus goes to heaven and the rich man goes to hell.

Which brings me to the the California budget which is held hostage by Arnie the Exterminator and his posse of Republicans who whine about taxes. The only taxes they are interested in are those that affect the average Joe and Jane. But HEAVEN FORBID the big fat oil companies or the international corporations ( which outsource our jobs and hire illegals ) or people who have lived for years in estates worth multi-millions pay their fair share. NOPE. Those who get sucker punched in this budget crisis are people like myself and people who are worse off than me. I am disabled physically and on SSI. I have lived a frugal lifestyle under $10,000 a year. I do not have a credit card. I use public transportation. I buy my clothes on the dollar rack. My books costs anywhere from 25 to 50 cents at thrift stores. And I still tighten my belt. But that is not good enough for the rich who want the disabled and elderly poor to end up on a street corner living in a cardboard box and begging with a tin cup. The first people who were eliminated by the Nazis were the disabled --- unlike others who got colored triangles or stars, there was an "invisible" triangle for us. Arnie's dad was a Nazi and a member of the SS. Showing your family influences on you, aren't you, Arnie? You "see" our pain, do you? Then why do you continue to add to our pain?

My next door neighbors are both elderly. They live on Social Security and on SSI. And their checks have also taken a hit, their medical services are taking a hit. There are those who can not survive outside of nursing homes without in house care. And yet Arnie and the Republicans who are holding the budget hostage feel that in home services are a waste of money and are not needed. Tell that to the disabled and elderly who will end up in nursing homes --- next to the mentally ill who are being dumped there ( or in jail ).

Now we are not supposed to judge others but on the day of judgment you can count me in with the thousands upon thousands of the disabled, elderly and mentally ill who will be standing up and saying to these Republicans and their stooge governor "I was hungry and you took the food out of my mouth, I was naked and you flayed my skin, I was homeless and you made it illegal for me to be so, I was dumped in jails for being mentally ill. DAMN THEM to hell, these arrogant rich who see the poor, the elderly, the disabled as a "nuisance." Damn them to hell. Because that is what they are making the life of the disabled, the elderly, the poor families, the college students who don't have rich parents, the state workers, the teachers, the list goes on. But HEY, don't tax the rich! Instead, give them tax breaks and take it out on the poor. Maybe they will all die and go to heaven. So enjoy your wealth bought at the expense of the lives of the poor, the disabled and elderly, the state workers. And go to hell. Go straight to hell.

PS to all of this -- anyone remember the phony energy crisis? Before Enron took a bite out of California Arnie met with Richard Riordan ( former mayor of Los Angeles who helped turn it into yuppieville ), Michael Milken ( the junk bond king ) and Kenny Boy Lay ( who conveniently had a heart attack within the week he was supposed to testify to the collapse of Enron ). They set about bilking the state of California out of billions thanks to the deregulation that Pete Wilson brought to us Californians ( along with an increase in a sales tax and a tax on books, magazines and newspapers ). And before they did this we were a billion in the black. So they then made us billions in the red, thanks to the swindling of energy and also the swindling of the election in 2 K which brought them a sympathetic faux "president." They got rid of Gray Davis by smearing him and then they went with the "vote for a celebrity" campaign ( which STUPID Californians, NOT ME!!!! ) to get Arnie in.

I have lived in California for most of my life and it breaks my heart to see this beautiful state being destroyed by the rich spoilers.

And did I mention, damn them to hell!!!!

SAC

Enough already

2009-07-10T07:21:00.000-07:00

Ok so Michael Jackson is dead. Unfortunately he is still very much alive on what seems to be 90% or maybe that is 99% and counting tv stations. Blech. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!! While I admit I was never a huge fan of his, that isn't the reason for being disgusted at all the fawning and flattering over a man who was, until his death, largely viewed as a weird freakazoid at best and a pariah at worse. But now he appears to be Saint Michael and he gets a moment of silence in Congress ( is that surreal or what???? ). He has a big send off at the Staples Center and the taxpayer money which does not go for education or the poor of the city of the tinseled angels goes for crowd control or whatever. Not to mention the closing of an L.A. freeway for the funeral procession. He died two weeks ago today. So let the stupid news media who are feeding this frenzy give it a rest.

Now none of this concerns ME but what does concern me is what is on the tv. Tributes adnauseum... repeated over and over like a broken record... which plays his music over and over again. And all the news stations --- is there ANYTHING else on the news besides news of Michael Jackson? Save it for the tabloids and bring me my tornados in Kansas and Iowa, my hurricanes off of Florida, earthquakes in divers places... HECK, I'd even prefer to watch footage of Sarah Palin FISHING than watch another minute of "breaking news about Michael Jackson..."

Until then it looks like I am gonna be sticking to TCM and HGTV. Of course I am a junkie for old movies and I am addicted to House Hunters. But it would be nice to catch some news that does not involve Michael Jackson, dead or alive.

Let my television rest in peace and as far as MJ, I'll let God judge his soul.

SAC

America Got It Wrong

2009-05-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, first let me say that Gilles should have won on Dancing With The Stars. Shawn won, not because of her dancing abilities, but because of her gymnast abilities. Now before I go further I might state I enjoy reality tv and watch it because it is fun to watch. But one gets annoyed when they see the finals of certain shows and realizes that the best talent is not winning. In the case of Dancing With The Stars, this incredible french actor, Gilles, was a graceful and yes, very sexy dancer, from day one. And therein lay the problem. It was a GYMNAST, rather than a DANCER who won the dancing show. But then these shows are based on popularity when it comes to votes, rather than on who is the best in a given genre. I am a former dancer and it has always annoyed me how often the public will vote for the acrobats and gymnasts over a DANCER. Back handsprings and various things are all well and good BUT it has nothing to do with DANCE. All too often so called "dancers" will get up and do leaps and turns and handsprings and there will be little or no footwork involved. Dancing involves footwork. DUH. About the only thing more annoying than acrobats calling themselves dancers is when some hootchie cootchie tramp will refer to herself as a "dancer" while costumed in her birthday suit and gyrating a bump and grind. But that is a different topic.

Now on to last night and when America got it wrong again. American Idol choose a new idol according to the votes of a supposed 100 million. What that means is that a little of 12 year old girls text messaged a gazillion times for the guy they thought was "cute" which was Kris Allen. No offense to this guy who just won but he is not that good of a singer. Yes, he is cute and seems like a nice person but he was often off key. And as a singer, when I see a preformance that is mediocre at best ( when he sings on key ) then I find it annoying that he wins because of his cuteness. Well I suppose it could have been worse. There was a horrible contestant this year, Megan, who made Kris sound like Pavarotti. She is in the top ten ( my fave, Alexis was not ) and it was painful to listen to her sing. My favorite singer was this incredible future super star by the name of Adam Lambert. Ok, my fave came in second. I can't really complain about that. And in the long run he will probably be better off ( minus the million that the winner picks up ) as he will have more freedom in his choices of what he does with his music. And poor Kris will get stuck recording this horrible song that was co-written by the new judge, Kara Dioguardi, who has written for the likes of such marginal ( if that ) "talents" as Paris Hilton.

My sister Libby and I both love Adam's singing and we will be watching his career in the future. On the finale last night the last performance was Adam and Kris preforming with the members of Queen. While Kris faded into the woodwork, Adam showed why he should have won. And he also showed why he would be able to step into Freddie Mercury's shoes and do him proud by preforming with Queen. Will that happen in the future or will he go solo or get in a band? Who knows? Time will tell that story.

One thing about America Idol is that often the losers ( with the exception of Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood ) do better than the winners. I have a feeling that is what will happen with Adam. Maybe I am wrong about Kris and he will have a huge career but I am doubtful. But I believe Adam will be an international star. America might have got it wrong last night but I think in the future that the world will get it right.

Susan Boyle, Libby and me

2009-04-17T21:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, so by now everyone on the planet, give or take a few, has clicked on a time or twenty ( I am guilty ) to see the wonderful clip of a shy, 47 year old Scottish woman sing "I Dreamed A Dream" ( I would also recommend checking out her "Cry Me A River" rendition as well ) on youtube. Susan Boyle auditioned on "Britain's Got Talent." When she walked out before a cynical audience dressed in what appeared to be finery from the 1950s the audience gave her a hard time and the judges rolled their eyes. They figured she would be like so many other delusionals of all ages, shapes and sizes, who have appeared on these show. But one never knows. So she sang a lovely song and the world has embraced her talent.

Ok, and now for those of us who have not yet stepped into the spotlight. Like my incredibly talented sister, Libby. Libby sings the same sort of songs that Susan Boyle does: standards and showtunes. And Libby can, vocally, knock it out of the ballpark. The main difference between these ladies is that Libby is Scottish-American and Susan is Scottish. Oh, and Libby is a redhead ( Scotland, btw, has the highest percentage of natural redheads in the world and that is not including Scottish-Americans like Libby and my two redheaded brothers ). And then there is the OTHER difference: Libby is 56 rather than 47.

I know that Libby is not alone. There are so many incredibly talented singers out there who do not fall into the generic young and beautiful category ( and too often falling into the can't sing their way out of a paper bag category as well ). Shows like Britain's Got Talent and America's Got Talent are godsends because even if it doesn't mean that all of us who are not beauty queens or kings and who are older than 28 ( the oldest one can be for American Idol and for the record industry the cut off age is even younger ) can still continue in our dreams.

Now if there was only a show where I would not fall through the cracks. I am a singer songwriter who is 60 and have written around 10,000 songs ( some of em are really good too! ). But there is no show for older people like myself that showcases singer songwriters. They all go for the cover tunes, which I do not sing. But if I can get my sister Libby to "go for it" by entering AGT. I would have no problem standing on the sidelines and cheering her on to victory. Yes, she is that good!

Today I broke out with my keyboards ( that I play horribly ) and hooked up my little 50 dollah machine with the microphone and recorded a couple of songs onto my photo booth video feature. I was rather pleased with the result. Now for the tech dummy to figure out how to upload them to youtube and then I too can become a video star...

SAC

Hopefully soon... the woman with a voice

2009-04-05T01:14:00.000-07:00

I love craigslist. It is wonderful for yard sales and also it is a place where one can contact and find music people. The other day I talked to a producer who lives in Palm Desert. Ok, so he does not record HARD ROCK ( I am 60 and I wanna be a rock star. Isn't that what people want to do when they turn 60? Ok, maybe not... ). But he has been playing keyboards for over 35 years and he has a studio and his rates are reasonable for church muses ( church muse: poor artistic relation of a church mouse ) like myself. Of course my biggest problem will be getting to where he has his studio... who in my family can I bribe?????? Right now David the producer is working on getting some things done in his studio ( upgrading it ) and he will call me next week. And I am excited about this as I might FINALLY be able to get some songs recorded professionally. My dear brother Hal suggested that I learn garageband and get a mike. Thanks, bro! The only problem is that I am REALLY BAD on keyboards and I can honestly say I have no burning desire or any desire WHATSOEVER to play ANY instrument other than VOICE. I do not know who it was that wrote the unwritten law that if one sings they should also play an instrument and of course that especially applies to songwriters. When one finds him can they tell me WHO it is so I can slowly torture them slowly so they scream for death for coming up with that unspoken law? To turn my straw into gold I am not gonna spin some tune on any instrument besides a microphone. And any goldmeisters out there will need to do all the mechanical, electrical and tech stuff. Woman with a voice, that is me.

Oh one last word here, READ LIBBY'S BLOG! She is a great writer and she will have you snickering away with her mad cap adventures of losing weight to look sexy and hot while trying not to eat things that are BAD FOR YOU and taste like heaven divine ( note to Libby: this does NOT include that fiendish potion known as "Diet Coke." ).

Never too old to rock

2009-03-31T01:46:00.000-07:00

One of my Hollywood buds, Tina, invited me to join a great new group called Never Too Old To Rock. Since I am 60 and STILL want to be in a rock band ( hope dies hard ) I joined up pronto. and you too can meander on over to www.ntotr.ning.com/ and join. And if i screwed up and got the wrong url just let me know.

Tina is the one who was the catalyst for my being online. She started out on Webtv and after a year she graduated to a computer. I am nowhere near as tech savvy as she is so I still on Webtv and even though I got my Mac within this last year, I still don't know how to do most of the basics ( I have a printer, how the heck do I use it? How do I scan? How do I upload this file and that? Blah blah blah blah etc etc ). But while on Webtv I met John, this Aussie dude, introduced him to my sister Libby and yesterday ( ok, two days ago now as it is the 31st of March being after midnight ) was their wedding anniversary! I am not sure how many years they have been married but it has been, I think, maybe 5 or more. I also met my best friend Cheryl aka Dovey, and it is amazing how you can be buds with someone and just love them to pieces and know them for almost a decade and never have met them in person! I am hoping that Cheryl and I can finally meet next year, it will be a decade then. I keep telling her that the Coachella Festival is calling her name and it is only a mile from where I live.

SAC

Some spiders are not your friend

2009-03-31T00:43:00.000-07:00

Back when I lived in Hollyweird I had a pet spider. Oh -kay, you might be going, you had a pet what? I kid you not. I had a spider who was a daddy longlegs who befriended me. He would follow me around my apartment. I would talk to him and it would respond. I could feel its emotions. No, it is true! Spidey was my buddy, he was my friend. And when he was accidently killed I put him in a baggie and brought him with me when I came out to the desert. I figured I would bury him one day, maybe under a rose bush that I have not yet planted.

I loved Spidey. He was my friend. Warm fuzzy feelings abounded. HOWEVER, some spiders are NOT your friend. Last night around 2 am I decided I would turn on the light, get up and go get some strawberries and ice cream ( something I might possibly repeat once I log off ). I looked over at the wall corner next to the bathroom and oh my MY! There in the corner was the BIGGEST and the BLACKEST ( pitch black, night with no moon black, patent leather shiny shoes black ) and the CREEPY SCARIEST BLACK WIDOW SPIDER I have ever seen in my entire life ( and yes, I have seen a few and NO, none of them have been my spider buddies ). So I went into the kitchen, grabbed about 4 paper towels, came back into the bedroom and SQUISHED ( twice at least ) the spider who was not my friend. I sent it to spider heaven where it can play with Spidey. And it did not get to bite me and send me to the emergency room. IT WAS HUGE. Little black widows might make you sicker than a dog who falls out of a truck bed going ninety but BIG black widows will make you sick to death's door and even beyond. IT WAS THAT BIG.

I am still creeped out about this. DUH! Welcome to the desert. Jungles ain't got nothin' on the desert. We have rattlesnakes out here too. They are not my friend either.

SAC

Fattie Fattie Two by Four Onion Dip

2009-03-26T00:52:00.000-07:00

Over at my sister Libby's blog there is a recipe of one of her favorite things: a recipe I was given when I was in about the 7th grade. Now keep in mind that I was a waif until I turned about 30. I personally believe it is because of this dip recipe that I am no longer a size 5 and weigh 105 on my 5'4" frame. So here is the recipe. I eat these with Lays ruffles dip chips ( though I have discovered Kroger wavy potato chips and they are pretty good with this too ).

1 pint sour cream 1 pint cottage cheese, small curd. I use low fat for this. 1 and 1/2 packets of onion dip ( Liptons or otherwise ). 1 dash of French's worchestershire sauce, sprinkle of garlic granules, 1 pinch of dried chopped chives, squirt of fresh lemon juice. Mix this heavenly concoction and put in the freezer for maybe 20 to 30 minutes to get nice and chill. Enough for maybe 4 people or 1 greedy pig. As if I share!!!!!!

Now because I am in THE MOOD I will toss out a couple of other recipes:

Killer Strawberry Daiquiri Toss a bunch of strawberries into a blender. Add about 1/4 cup of homemade lemonade. Sprinkle in maybe 1 or 1 and a half teaspoons of superfine ( also called bakers ) sugar. Squeeze one lime into this. Add a jigger ( 1 1/2 ounce, or make it 2 ounces or to taste ) Bacardi white. Add about 1/2 ounce of Grand Marnier. Add 1/4 ounce 151 proof rum. Blend the heck out of it and serve over ice ( or crush the ice up with it ). Rearrange the alcohol and other stuff but best to manage a smaller amount of the GM and 151 as you want a subtle flavor from the GM and you want to be conscious so you don't want to over do it with the 151.

Super easy Neopolitan: slice 7 big fat strawberries and sprinkle about a teaspoon or more superfine sugar over them. Toss a couple of scoops of French Vanilla ice cream on top of them, drizzle with Hershey's chocolate syrup. Super easy and divine.

Yum...

A lovely afternoon and evening.

2009-03-20T21:57:00.000-07:00

I am a night owl. As usual I was up all night. I was expecting my mom to come over this afternoon with a big pot which I would borrow from her to make corn beef and cabbage in. So I did not crawl out of bed until 3:30 pm. I then went out to check my mail ( there was none ) an hour later and there sat a big pot in front of my door. There was also a bag of lemons and a bag of granny smith apples. And no mom. Oh dear. So I tossed the corn beef into the nice big pot and about half an hour later mom, Julian and Nathan show up. Julian ands Nathan visited for a little bit and then they took off. I had a lovely visit with mom while waiting for the corn beef ( and then cabbage, carrots, onions and potatoes ) to cook. I invited my next door neighbor Margie over and mom talked Margie's ear off for a couple of hours until the corned beef and cabbage was done. After dinner was dessert of vanilla ice cream and big blackberries. They had been frozen but I nuked them in the microwave for a minute on defrost and they were perfect. Mom and I had a lovely time together and I really enjoyed cooking for her. THIS is why I moved here to the desert. I moved here to be able to have my mom come over and have me fix her dinner and dessert and then do the dishes. I love to pamper mom and hopefully I can have some time to do that. Heaven knows, she needs some pampering. :-) I love you, mom. And it was a lovely afternoon and evening having you come over and sit in my new rocking recliner while I sat in my old chair and watched you smile and exclaim what a wonderful cook I am. Well, it takes one to know one and I inherited my love of cooking and my ability to turn out a good meal from my mom --- who was a fabulous cook. But it is ok for you to now sit back and have me cook and clean up for you. You gave me such a lovely childhood of home cooked meals so to be able to return that favor just a little makes me happy. Mom, did I mention I love you? I can never do that enough.

SAC

2009-03-20T21:56:00.001-07:00

scribblings, tv viewing, other stuff

2009-03-20T00:40:00.000-07:00

I am happy with myself because this past year I have completed THREE projects. This is pretty darn major for me because I have been working on said projects forever. I finished my book hollyWEIRD ( first draft ) and completed working on the basic notes for my Biddenlarn series and my Outer Cosmos worlds and galaxies notes. Now to complete all the maps for these --- ha! There will be more meandering into the right brain labyrinth to come up with more suggestions, countries for created worlds and the like. But all of that is for another day.

This does remind me of my New Years resolution. And there I was thinking that my basic resolutions ( besides praising God and thanking Him ) were so simple and easy to do. It is already past the middle of March and here I am with no big or little desire to fulfill them: to type up and copyright hollyWEIRD ( ok, it would be nice to get that done ) and to buy and learn to play a left handed guitar. I really need to face the truth of this: I do not want to play any instrument except the one I was born with and that is my voice. I am a singer. I am not a girl with a guitar. I am a woman with a voice. And the nice thing about this is that the resolutions I did not make, to complete my Biddenlarn notes and my Outer Cosmos notes, I am thrilled that it is something that is done ( sort of ).

Ok, now about tv. I have been watching that trash fest, Rock of Love with the tattooed, face surgery screwed, peroxide blued and with silicon than found in Silicon Valley. They sent home Ashley this time. Last year it was the bleached blonde tattoo silicon queen Daisy that got her walking papers. Ok, it is true that women have broken up with lovers or ex-husbands and lived in the same dwelling. HOWEVER, if you are trying to hook up with some other guy at least TELL HIM in advance. With both of these bimbos if they had been honest about it before then they might have made it to the finals.

Speaking of trash, yes, I have been watching American Idol. The judges are so beyond annoying and whether it is fixed or not ( I don't know though of course I have heard the rumors for years like everyone else has ) they have their favorites who can do no wrong --- such as that hideous Megan. You send Alexis home, cute with a great voice, while keeping their favorite off key fave? And then there is America who does not get it. IGNORE the judges and make up your own mind! DUH. Right now I like Alison and Adam ( though Adam IS over the top a bit ) and no, I do not know or care if he is gay. He looks theatrical and Goth ( that is what those black fingernails are about, duckies ). And he is cute and he can sing. Just like Alexis.

Now on to the latest. I was reading a Readers Digest and there was an article about Rick Warren. It mentioned that he gives 90% of his income to charity. Which I think is cool. And it got me to thinking about my own writings and such ( not that I have given 90% of what I have made, which is 1.25 from busking in Venice once ) and thought up a name and an idea. How about I take some of my songs and writings, I can start out with the Christian ones, see if I can find how to market them and give 90% to charity, in this case to the rescue missions? Ok, so that is gonna be the new resolution and Lord willing and with His blessing, it will come to pass. I have some nice little essays and some songs so I'll see what I will see. I view what I have as talents and therefore it is time for me to start putting there out there, my 5 or 10 talents to gain 5 or 10 more. And the name for this could be spinster mite. Why that? Because of the parable of the widow who put in 2 mites into the offering and it was all of her living. The Lord knows that I have prayed and worked towards being self reliant for years. Maybe this will be what He wants me to do. And being a spinster, rather than a widow, here could be my mite for the offering. Something to keep in prayer

SAC

lots of things on my mind

2009-03-16T22:51:00.000-07:00

Depression: I have had a problem with depression since I was injured when hit by a car on a bicycle in 1985. I started writing songs as a cure for depression and then moved to Hollywood in 1989. I moved back to the desert in 2007. I think one of the biggest reasons for my depression has been people who flake on me or those who refuse to help me. It brings despair to the soul and how does one deal with it? The way I deal with it is to pray. It is the only thing that gets me through the callous disregard that people have shown me throughout the years. I have yet to meet anyone who has ever been willing to help me with my music or to help type up my writings. I guess one of the reasons it is so hurtful is that I have always been willing to help others as much as possible. I am getting to a place physically where I can't do that anymore ( help others ). And while I have never been in a financial place to help others, my own family has decided that unless I can grease their greedy palms they have no interest in helping their almost elderly disabled sister. So why do I still love them and wish they would give a damn about me? I have yet to figure that one out. My two younger sisters have told me more than once they do not know me. Whose fault is that? They have never shown any interest in getting to know me. My youngest sister said some horrible and spiteful things to me about me that were not only lies but they were lies thrown out with the intention of cutting as deeply as possible. And why is that? Because she doesn't know me? So the depression lingers even though there is a part of me that is quite happy with my new digs. You love people and they then turn around and treat you like something they scrape off the bottom of your shoe --- that hurts. And again, there is nothing one can do but pray --- and forgive those who never step up to the plate.

I believe that the depression that I have now is deeply rooted in my frustration. I am frustrated over the circumstance of my life. Yes, I am happy that I have this little one bedroom apartment and I am happy that I now have some new ( for me ) furniture ( couch, lounge chair rocker, a couple of end tables ) for my new living room. I am thankful for section 8 and thankful for my SSI BUT I want so much to be self-sufficient. I will continue to keep that goal in the foreground and work towards it. I know I am not worthless and I know how hard I have worked on my writings and my songs over the years. And I will not give those who criticize me anything except my contempt. They have never tried to get to know me or to help me. And when ( ever the optimist ) I do become successful in my chosen fields I will take care of ME and any the Lord asks me to help. But those who tear me down and those who have flaked on me over the years --- don't stand in line for a handout. Because your hand will return empty and be left hanging in air, the same air you have left me hanging in for much of my life.

Now about that couch --- I lucked out on getting a couch. Couches online have seldom been for under a hundred bucks and lousy looking ones at that. So right down the street the other day an elderly gentleman was selling a very nice couch for 45 dollars and it now sits in my living room. I also bought a lounge rocker which folds out like an easy chair. That was 25. So I can now invite my mom over to visit. Yippee! After living in single apartments for so many years it is still such a new thing to have a LIVING ROOM that is not also my bedroom.

I have been working on the idea of putting together a presentation of all I have created over the decades and trying to find a big mega company ( someone like Microsoft or Google rather than a publisher ) to sign an exclusive licensing agreement with me. AFAIK there has not been an individual who has approached a tech or internet sort of company about artistic stuff. I could be a trailblazer in this. As I work towards this goal I will post how things go. Tech companies have been paying out hundreds of millions of dollars for web portals such as Facebook. If you are a computer geek then do some coding and gain an audience and then the attention of the big dogs in the industry. You'll then stand not only to make millions but hundreds of millions and even the potential to make the B word. So why aren't those of us who are right brained rather than left brained getting a piece of the pie?

I am here to announce that I am internet THREE. That will be what I will be presenting to those I approach. Right now we are in internet 2. And what is internet 3? I believe it will be people like myself, the right brained freaks who write our songs and poetry and other musings at 3 am. I will be talking about more of this in the future as I believe that I AM the face of the future. The "normal" savant growls!

I am the face of the future and I am Bohemian. I am right brained. I am a southpaw. I am a night owl. I am an artistic person living in a world that views those who create as being "starving artists" unless one goes and gets a degree to "learn to be an artist" rather than those of us who got our degrees in the school of hard knocks ( in which I have a doctorate ). They look down their dry, dull noses at us and toss us out as if we were garbage and filth. Unless, of course, we ARE garbage and filth then they glorify us and call us "artistic" ( sorry, but I do not believe in political correctness or in blasphemy or foul language nor do I call people who insult my intelligent with the use of that as "artistic" ). BUt I hope my day is coming, a day when someone who is latently artistic and also not going along with whatever current trend on the left or the right goes along with can have her day.

I have discovered David Pink. I saw a program of his on PBS and then looked him up on the net ( amazon ). I love what he is saying and hope to quote some of it when I finally make my presentation to whomever I seek out. He says people like myself are the wave of the future. It is ironic how some of what he is saying is something that I saw for the turn of this past century. I was obviously a bit before my time and that vision has not yet come to past. He said that the new creativity that will come out of the next age will be as sweeping as the industrial revolution or the renaissance. I can remember thinking that it would be like the renaissance but that was something I saw in the 1970s. I believe it could have happened sooner but the information age has been fighting and screaming and trying to suppress creativity for decades. Manufactured information and manufactured stars is what they want as they have control over them. The internet is something that has been showing them that a new day is dawning. They want to control that but I hope and I pray that the artists out there will not sell themselves short as they have done for centuries. It is OUR turn. It is our turn to be recognized and to be paid what we are due. Because heaven knows we have been paying our dues and not collecting on them ( with a few exceptions here and there and isn't it strange how the public resents an actor or singer making 20 million but it has no problem with an unknown business or tech person making 5 or 10 times or more of it for the same amount or less work? ).

Ok, this is getting War and Peace length. Time to post it to my blog and take a little breather.

Very snooty with an artistic attitude and temperament...

SAC

And A Goldfish

2009-03-12T01:48:00.000-07:00

Last night around this time ( 1 am something ) the Coachella Rescue Mission burned. Thankfully there were no injuries but 93 people and a GOLDFISH were displaced. Talk about the face of humanity! Even while homeless someone in that mission wanted a pet. And while most rescue missions do not allow them, here was someone who wanted a goldfish and it was allowed by the mission. If I were to get a pet where I live I would need to pay a big fat pet deposit of 400 smackaroonies. I wonder if they would allow me to temporarily provide housing to a goldfish? As it is, while I am not sure what I am in a position to be able to do, I am going to try and see if I can do SOMETHING. This rescue mission has provided a service in the low desert for decades now and I would certainly like to see it rebuilt. If it is possible, God willing, I will try to do what I can to help. Even if it were only to provide shelter to a goldfish --- though I will try and do more than that.

SAC

Thrifting and Hal's new blog

2009-03-09T21:46:00.000-07:00

My brother Hal now has a blog with the Desert Sun here in the Coachella Valley. It involves thrift shopping. This is a guy who finds suits for less than 100 bucks and they are 3000 dollar suits. So he is obviously doing something right. Recently there was a couple of wet noodlistas who griped when he said he had no use for those stupid boutique "thrift" shops and did not frequent them. So he got some negative feedback about it and even though he was nice to these lamebrains, they STILL posted as if he were sacrificing his first born to Moloch or something. Sheesh.

I am an avid thrifter and have my own pointers concerning thrifting. So here are a few of them:

1. Do not buy something because you think it might have value. It might be a knockoff of what you think it is and then you are stuck with some over priced piece of shlock.

2. Buy something because you love it. I bought a painting I loved and then thought it might be worth something. Ok, I would sell it for a million. I only paid 10 bucks for it. I found out it is probably worth 10 bucks. I love it and would not sell it for a thousand. But a million? It's yours.

3. Unless you are absolutely nuts about it do not buy anything that is made in China. Unless it costs a buck or less you probably can get it at the 99 cents store. Trust me. And nope, I didn't buy the made in China stuff. But I DO buy Made in the USA, Japan or occupied Japan. And England and Germany sometimes have cute things for sale.

4. If you HAVE to have it buy it NOW. It WILL be gone tomorrow. Yes, I DO know.

5. Will you remember it a year from now and kick yourself because you did not buy it? Or will you not remember it a week from now?

6. Is it you something that you will never be able to part with or will it end up in a yard sale?

7. Do NOT buy it if it does not fit. The only exception is couture with a Paris label CHEAP or totally cool vintage stuff for your collection. If it says made in China it is not vintage. Trust me.

8. If you buy books do so to READ them. And the vast majority of old books do not sell. Do you know how many gazillion "antique books" from the turn of the 19th century there are? And do you know HOW boring they are and how there is not really a market for them? Btw, almost all coffee table books are overpriced.

Remember to check yard sales.

One last thing, if you are out of the area, the thrift stores and yard sales in Hollywood are "da bomb." You have creative people with eclectic collections. You also have rich people who redecorate and donate to thrift stores. The best thrift stores there are the Out Of The Closets. The best one is on Sunset one block east of Vine. There is also a Goodwill on Vine one block north of Santa Monica Blvd that sometimes have goodies ( I found a vintage Vicky Tiel with a Paris label for under 10 bucks and hey, it is leopard print! ).

One last thing, if you go to Universal Studios they have a store there which sells clothes from tv shows and movies. I saw some "Will and Grace" stuff there.Of course it is all size 0 but if you are out visiting from Nebraska and buy something from a favorite soap then that is braggin' rights back on the farm.

Another great place for thrifting is the Coachella Valley ( Palm Springs and Indio ). I like the Revivals and Angel View on 111 in Cathedral City. And check out the estate sales and rummage sales in the area. So if you take a vacation to the Southland maybe you might find some treasures. And check out the craigslist in your area for yards sales.

Happy thrifting!

SAC

YIKES!!!!!!!

2009-03-09T21:40:00.000-07:00

Some time yesterday I had a problem logging onto my Webtv account. Sooo then later that day I could not get onto my mac and of course about then I was ready to tear out my sparse baby fine hair. YIKES!!!!!!!!!!! Then today I called the macman to see if he could help. He walked me through a few things and then I turned it off and turned it on again and voila! Things were back to normal I HOPE I HOPE I HOPE.

Maybe it is daylight savings or maybe it is the digital switchover that has made things screwy ( I so need to do a I want my analog and if it ain't broke don't fix it rant but that is for another day.

I have other things to discuss but for now...

I am back online and hopefully that will be a statement rather than an agitation of back online for a moment...

SAC

All My Siblings Are Falling Down...

2009-03-04T02:31:00.000-08:00

This is getting to be a habit. My brother Hal took a tumble on one of his desert hikes the other day. I called him up about it as I was a bit worried. I have taken more than a few falls myself. When I lived in Hollywood I got into "fights" with the cracked and pitted sidewalks there. Hollywood sidewalks won and my face and body lost. There were times when I had very sore hands, black eyes and even a dislocated shoulder. So falling is no fun.

And then today I get a call from my sister Libby. She was headed home early from work due to the fact that she had taken a nasty splat in the parking lot of where she worked and needed to go home and ice up parts of her body ( never you mind where ).

Got an email from a friend who moved to Utah from North Carolina ( and before that from Florida, the girl has moved more in the last few years than I have and that is saying something ).

Knowing Angela ( who I know from Hollywood ) she will eventually make another move from Utah. Her dad worked in exports and she has traveled all over the world. So she has got a pair of gotta move restless shoes. She works in the travel industry and in spite of the hit that it has taken from the downward economy she is the kind of worker who employees want to keep as she really knows her business. It was good to hear from her again.

The itises are acting up. Weather is shifting again. I don't know if we will get any rain but we will get clouds and cooler temps and spasms and itises are callin' my name. I would love to put them on mute. It is the Tylenol time. I took some earlier and I am waiting for it to kick in.

Blessings, I have been praying for a thankful heart and I am now thanking God for blessings: for a full pantry, for my new apartment and wonderful Christian neighbors including one whose 101 year old mom has a smile that could sunshine a rainy day. And Julian drove mom and we over to WinCo ( I think that is what it is called ) to do some shopping. First time since I have moved here.

I am still exhausted but I guess it is just gonna take time to get my groove back physically.

SAC

A Lovely Day for the most part

2009-03-01T01:57:00.000-08:00

I took a Tylenol PM last night as I am not a morning person. I managed to get up around 10 am or so. I got a call from Margie next door. She invited me to lunch ( some KFC ) with her 101 year old mom. It was a delightful visit and her mom has the sweetest smile. Imagine being 101 years old and having lots to smile about and being in relatively good health.

My sister Libby came up from Orange County and brought her daughter Keturah ( a high school teacher who lives in Long Beach ) for a visit. They came by with mom and we spent the day shopping. Or I should say I went shopping. The other three mainly stayed in the car. Which was fine with me. They then drove me back to Indio where I put my groceries away and we went for a 2 for 1 dinner at the Souplantation. It is hours later and I am still stuffed. Keturah and I ducked into a Bev-Mo where she grabbed some vodka and I finally found the elusive green creme de menthe and white creme de cacao for my grasshoppers. THAT won't happen for awhile as I ate so much today I am wondering if I should go on a week long fast ( no no I won't but will eat much lighter tomorrow ). Plus I did not get any evil whipping cream at Trader Joe's ( at 40% butterfat that is called EVIL ). And I was thrilled to see they had pink noyaux which they were out of but I know it is THERE so eventually I will be able make pink squirrels!

Just for the record here are the recipes for a grasshopper and a pink squirrel:

Grasshopper: Equal parts green creme de menthe, white creme de cacao and cream. Shake in a shaker ( or blend ) and serve over ice. For a Pink Squirrel substitute the pink noyaux ( not sure of the spelling: noyaux or noyau or noyeaux or something like that but it is pink almond liqueur ).

Now if I could only find some creme de rose and creme de violette ( equal parts with cream ) I would have the elusive Lillian Russell I found the recipe for in some old drink book. I saw a bottle of creme de violette in San Francisco decades ago. I never have seen a bottle of creme de rose, however. And don't these manufacturers who make mango daiquiri mixes know there are Snooty Aunt Cynthia's out there who would LIKE a pleasant little buzz from a drink tasting of roses and violets? You would think they would KNOW that, right?

The other lovely thing for today was I found 15 dollars that I did not know I had lost.

On the negative side, I got a stupid bill from the stupid cable company that REALLY has me thinking of Direct Tv in my future. It isn't enough that they charge me almost 100 bucks to set me up and my first months, but now they are billing me for over 20 dollars more for what I have yet to figure out. And for what? Less than the 70 channels they promise me, more infomericals ( tv spam ) than I want to know about, repeats on too many of the channels, etc etc etc.

The other negative of today was reading my brother Hal's blog and finding he took a tumble down a hill ( OUCHEE ) while hiking. Luckily it sounds as if nothing was broken and he will be back to hiking tomorrow.

SAC

fuzzy --- in more ways than one

2009-02-27T13:08:00.000-08:00

It is mis typo's fault.. I post a url and grrrrr it has something in it wrong. so the fuzzie lizzie is fuzzy lizzie. http://sewfuzzylizzie.com/butterickyd.html.

And then there is my fuzzy mind. I think the moving 3 times in the last year and a half is what is creating the fuzziness. I was thinking as soon as I moved in that I would get my life back to what it was before all the drama before moving began but that is just not happenin'. I don't know how long it is gonna take to get the happy go lucky me back. I am a bit agitated that it has not happened sooner.

And then there is the situation with my family, the brothers who are too selfish to do anything for mom or for me. It hurts to know that even though it is sometimes painful for me to get around, my brothers could help but they don't or won't. And they are the same way with mom. Hopefully once I am really settled in here and able to get around better I will not be as frustrated and depressed.

And then there is the depression. Ironically, it was the songwriting that brought me out of depression that then was the catalyst for my moving into Hollywood years ago. So here I am back in Indio where I have such horrible depression after my car accident ( car hits bicyclist, car one, bike zero ), the neuritis and the depression over the neuritis.

I am fighting for my lemonade out of lemons. At this point it is the sour lemon that is being squeezed and I am looking around for some sugar to add to it to make that lemonade. I thought, before I moved out of Hollywood, that I was at the lemonade point of building a lemonade stand to sell my lemonade from the lemons life had given me. But once again life handed me another lemon and said "Squeeze this."

I am hoping that by this time next year that not only will I be settled into my new place ( and not moving unless something major GOOD happens such as my suddenly becoming rich and famous or even comfortable and well known ) but that I would be happy and bright, that things would be more of an even keel. There is a huge part of me that just wants to continue working on my writings and my songs and another huge part of me that says "How do I market what I have created?" But while I have done some creating I am full of angst. Ok, it is not quite the degree of angst that I have been going through since the big move, but still, it would be nice to finally bid it adieu for good. Angst is something one endures in their adolescence. It is REALLY OLD when one is 60.

The year is still young and I need to look and the half full glass of lemonade. And I am still old ( ok, getting older, I won't call myself OLD until I get to be 65 ).

Libby and my niece Keturah are coming up tomorrow from Orange County and Long Beach. It will be great to see them as I have not done so since around Christmas. and Libby mentioned that they will take mom and me around to do some shopping. Wooohoooo. Nothing like having my sister come up from Orange County 50 miles or more to take mom and me shopping while my deadbeat brothers can not get off their moochy behinds to take mom and me shopping even once a month. So I need to sit down and make my little shopping wish list ( wish I could go here to go shoppng, wish I could go there to go shopping, etc ).

Need to hobble down to the bank and see about cashing a check. The manager where I used to live ripped me off for 70 bucks for "shampooing the carpet" from my security deposit. GRRRRRR. That apartment was CLEAN when I left but hey, ripping off a poor tenant for whatever you can, what re apartment managers for, right? But I should feel lucky I got back anything. Managers are so notorious for ripping off good tenants for security deposits. Since I

am on section 8 I am going to report the situation to my worker as the manager signed off that the apartment looked good when I left. so why deduct an expense that the apartment company should be paying for? Those carpets were clean and that expense should not have been on my shoulders.

I dread the thought of walking to the bank because my knee hurts. But it is something that I need to do. And I know the deadbeat brothers are not going to step up to the plate to do anything for me because they are "too busy."

This month has been my month to move in, feel settled rather than transient and I do feel settled, to a certain degree. I do feel as if I am "home" rather than waiting for the next move like I felt while I was living in Cat City. Next month I am going to have to force myself to try and get more things done -- get to the Social Security office, see about signing up for an HMO so I can start seeing doctors, see if I can get out of that stupid jury duty thing, maybe get a few more things out of storage, just try and get things to where I am can then relax a little and get back into my comfort zone. But at this point I am not thinking about how my comfort zone is gonna happen next month or the month after that. Got too many lemons, and fuzzy skinned ones at that, which evidently are on the lemon tree of my life, that fall into my life when I least expect it.

SAC

Hal's Blog

2009-02-25T02:42:00.000-08:00

Repeat after me: I WILL post the correct url to Hal's blog... write this out 50 times on a blackboard and then repeat it...

http://hikeeveryday.blogspot.com/

Surfin' the web

2009-02-25T02:28:00.000-08:00

The bookmark fiend is at it again. Talking her cyber board she has surfed onto the google search to see what she will see. Sooo I have looked for sixties fashion, foundation garments for stout women ( virtually impossible to find and I WANT ONE in my size as I am now aging and stout ), Marianne Faithfull ( found the lyrics of my favorite MF song: Time Takes Time from her first American album, yippie! ), Mary Quant patterns ( found my favorite one that my grandmother made me two of, Butterick 3498 found at http://sewfuzzielizzie.com/butterickyd.html so go check it out ). I stumbled on a great called laurel canyon stories that had a wonderful article on the all female group the GTOs. Bookmarked the site for the Rainbow bar and Grill that was formerly my home away from home from 1975 on. So I bookmarked some goodies and will be checkin' em out at my leisure. And adding their urls here.

I really need to get to bed. Though I know I will be up until dawn. There is a fantasy romance calling my name. If I can ever get away from my little mac toy long enough to stick my nose in the book.

My left knee has been major bugging me since the move from Cat City last month and is starting to not hurt as much. And if I can ever get to bed so I do not rise when my sister Libby wakes me around 1 pm or so maybe I can get off the duff and hope a bus and go exploring the neighborhood. And hopefully get that done before it gets to be 100 plus weather.

Oh one last thing, go visit my brother Hal's amazing blog.

HAL'S BLOG: http://hikeeveryday.blogpotcom/

Hike very day

2009-02-24T03:22:00.001-08:00

This is sort of a short little reminder. My brother Hal has a awesome blog. It has some incredible photos on it as well. His New Year's resolution for this year was to hike every day for a year. Not only has he done this so far but his comments are pithy and interesting and some of his photos of the hikes he has been on are wonderful. So far his hikes have been around the Coachella Valley ( as in the Palm Springs area ) and up in the upper desert of Joshua Tree. Some of the Native American artifacts he has photographed are really interesting. And the desert sunsets are awesome-inspiring. So take a look and leave a comment and tell him his snooty sister Cynthia ( aka Cyd ) sent ya.

SAC

So Old So Young: What prayer can do

2009-02-23T17:30:00.000-08:00

I met the mother of my next door neighbor this afternoon. She is about 101 or thereabout. I was completely amazed by her appearance! She looked to be, on the outside, possibly in her late 70s. She was walking with a walker but other than that she had a cheerful and youthful appearance for an older person. This sweet lady had scarcely a wrinkle on her smiling face! And she had a lovely smile. She has a wreath of snow white hair and a twinkle in her eyes. My neighbor's brother helped her walk to my neighbors apartment. Margie is 76 and looks much younger. Her brother is 12 years younger, 64, and I thought he was a lot younger too. And then there is me. I am 60 and a lot of folks guess my age at mid to late 40s which pleases me no end. :-) And what is the secret to this youthful appearance? I used to think it was my Dutch blood as more than one person has told me that the Dutch age well. But now I think I have found the secret to looking younger. It is not a face cream or a laser treatment. It is not a face lift or a hair dye. It is PRAYER. Margie told me her mom prays all the time. I do that as well. What would my own life be without prayer? Pretty dismal, you could bet on that! So there you have it! It is prayer that is the best wrinkle cream of all! It is the smile of a praying person that keeps those wrinkles away. I always knew that prayer was a blessing. I have had more than enough trauma in my life and yet my blood pressure is normal. I know prayer helps release stress. What a blessing. Not that I need any excuse to pray! Prayer is a joy rather than a burden for me and has been a blessing many times over. And who knew that the best antidote for an aging appearance would be to pray all the time? It makes me happy to see a beautiful and youthful looking lady who has passed the century mark in her life --- and to see the living result of a life of prayer. God bless her. And thank you Jesus for my new apartment and surrounding me with Christian neighbors.

SAC

Happy Shoes

2009-02-21T15:22:00.000-08:00

I was dreading buying new shoes. I am finicky about my feet and what I put on them. Since Inow have a problem with my left leg ( it is there and it is in pain on a constant basis ) that makes the hunt for the elusive pair of shoes that fit, are cheap and make my feet comfortable when I hobble around not so easy. But today I lucked out. There is a yard sale down the street every weekend or so with several of the little old ladies that live here. I usually troll for books when I go to yard sales and this was mainly clothes and shoes and a few odds and ends. I talked with the ladies who were having the sale and I mentioned I might join them to sell some things ( I mainly will have books and clothes ) and they said to bring em on out when I decide to do that. Most of my stuff is still in storage and it will be nice to have a place to sell stuff once I get things from the storage into my apartment. But the good news today was I found 4 pair of shoes for a buck each. Wooohooohoooo! OH YEAH! There were gently used running shoes including a pair of Nike Air. I was expecting to have to go out and spend some premium bucks on running shoes as the two pair I have are basically trashed major big time. So now I am flush for shoes for another year or so. The third pair of shoes are a bit of a novelty and since they fit I got them, a pair of brown leather gladiator shoes. Cool! So my legs and feet are happy for me today. Now if I could ONLY find a pair of black granny shoes in a 8 medium... ( I will probably find these on the some day when my prince will come and not expecting that to happen any time soon if ever.. )

SAC

Feeling at home and misc. ramblings

2009-02-19T13:43:00.000-08:00

It has not yet been a month and yet I do feel as if I am at home here already. That is a good feeling. Ever since I left Hollywood in September 2007 I have felt as if I were a transient. So to hang my little Bohemian beret ( well, one of them. I have 3 of them, and I do not know if the other two made the move or not ) and feel as if it is WHERE I hang it because it is home is a good feeling.

I have been exploring my neighborhood a small bit. I have meandered over to the In And Out burger place a couple of times. And I have gone shopping. I walked to two local drug stores, one was near the fairgrounds where the Date Festival was going on. I am very tempted to go there Saturday to see the ostrich races ( yes, ostriches WITH jockeys, it is hilarious ) but I can't afford to rent a wheelchair or a scooter and my legs would not make the walking around without being in agony. I know this from last year. I had gone to the fair last year and even though I had not stayed that long or even walked around that much my legs/feet were just killing me by the time I got home. And my legs had not been hurting me when I had gone there. My legs have been bothering me ( well, my left leg anyway ) since I moved. Once get signed up for an HMO I will hightail it to a doctor and see if there is anything that can help this leg or if I am just out of luck ( because it is arthritis or something ). If worse comes to worse maybe I could get a scooter/ Though of course if there was something that would make the leg better so it does not hurt like the dickens that would be better. Oh to be able to dance again!

I am still working at getting things in order here in my place. It takes time. And I am want to sit around and take it easy. I think that it is because I worked so hard at getting things in order and put away the first week or so of moving in. After that my body protested and said time out! So I am recharging my batteries to start gong through things again. And who knows when or who is gonna help me get the bulk of my possessions out of storage. That will be a major undertaking. I will be both glad and exasperated at getting things out of storage. Glad because I will then no longer have to pay a storage fee and exasperated as then I will need to sort through EVERYTHING and decide what to keep, sell, donate or toss. And dismayed when I go through everything and find certain things did not make it. But that is all for the future.

I spent much of last night from 10 pm to 5 am in the morning looking at patterns. It was fun to look at some of the old patterns from the 60s and 70s and remember some of the outfits that my sister Libby and I wore. Our grandma Flo made most of our outfits and weren't we stylish? Though a few of my favorites were not there. I had a Mary Quant dress that my grandmother made me a couple of dresses out of and couldn't find that pattern. And there was one bellbottomed outfit that my sister Libby and I had. It was made in different colors. And it had a midriff top and hiphugger bellbottoms. And there were rows of ruffles on the bottom of the top, which was sleeveless, and on the bottom of the bells. Great fun, those outfits!

It is two in the afternoon so it is time to get up and get dressed and have my "usual" breakfast: oatmeal with raisins, milk, iced coffee with milk and sugar, orange juice ( from FLORIDA rather than some other country. though would PREFER to get California orange juice but where does one find it anymore? ).

SAC

PS Thank you and thank you for all who have posted here in response to my ramblings. I do appreciate it. Also, if someone wants me to check out their blog and add them please have an add on feature that is easy to click on as you are dealing with the tech dummy here. I need it REAL simple. TIA.

Valentine's Day for Jeanne and me

2009-02-14T11:45:00.000-08:00

I had a nice talk the other day with my friend Jeanne, a lady who was widowed while she was quite young. We talked about how people still think that we need a man in our lives. I am a spinster, age 60 and have never married. She is 5 years younger than I am. We have been many years without a male in our lives. We are quite happy that way. What a lot of folks don't seem to get that there are single people out there, including Jeanne and me, who are happy with flying solo. I read Jeanne a song I had written called "My Remote."We both laughed about it and she said "That's me!" It is me as well. It is my remote control. I watch what I want. It is my laundry that I clean, my meals I cook, my time to get up or not get up in the morning. And I do not suffer from the "Woe is me, I need a man or I am not fulfilled as a woman" syndrome that some women suffer from. I am not going to put down those women who still have a need in their life to find a man. Women are, by nature, nurturers and they have a longing to pamper and nurture men. And men want to be nurtured and catered to. Except I am not one of those women and neither is my friend Jeanne.

I admit that I am a romantic. I love it when couples fall in love and get married and live happily ever after. But I am not going to be part of one of those couples. I have been single all of my life and celibate for most of it, with a bit of wild oat sowing ( ok, a LOT of wild oat sowing ) in my decadent hippie and rocker chick youth and young adulthood. At that time in my life I felt the need to find "the one" and settle down and have 2.3 children, a split level house with a 2 car garage in the suburbs, a dog, a cat and a number of guppies. Some of my sibling found and are living that dream and they are ( I assume ) blissfully happy in it. But it has not been my dream or my ambition for decades.

At some point in my life I realized that rather than seeking a spouse or a boyfriend I was pushing away men who might be interested in me. I thrive on my solitude. I have a wonderful circle of dear friends scattered across the planet and I value their friendships. But I am not interested in the emotional roller coaster of love and romance. I can easily write about it, about the bliss of love and the heartaches of love. But I do not miss the emotions I write about.

About the only thing I do not like is if someone gives me an attitude about my single status. I have a younger sister who wrote me some very nasty emails this past year when we had a disagreement about another family member. One of the things she did was to make fun of my being single and her married with children status. What she failed to realize is that I am HAPPY being single and have no interest in living the life she has chosen for herself. I am glad she is happy with being married with children. If that is what floats her boat, bully for her. But it is not my life nor is it a life that would make me happy. If I had opted to go with the status quo and married some suitable young man and gone to live a Stepford wife existence in the suburbs I believe I would have spent the majority of my adult years in a padded cell. That life would not have suited me.

Society has its attitude about singles. This is especially true of older single women. We are treated, in many ways, like second class citizens. We are looked down upon. "No one wanted her." Old maid. Apeleader. Babysitter on the shelf. This is just not true in the majority of cases. I was engaged twice. I have turned down numerous proposals in my life. I am single because I prefer that state.

Even as I get older I get attractive men sending out signals that they are interested in me. And when I mention I am only interested in friendship they are suddenly not interested in me anymore. Men today want an affair and possibly marriage if the affair works out. Not quite my cup of tea, thank you. I am not a geisha girl who will wait on them. I am not a party doll who wants to dress up and please them. They can find lots of wonderful women who will love to be involved with them. But this wonderful woman is not interested. I have my books and my poetry. I have my songs and my writings. I have my friends and some members of my family ( the ones I am speaking to, haha ). And I have a remote and it is MY remote.

Happy Valentine's Day.

And remember to include those of us who have chosen to be single, the bachelors, spinsters and widows in your lives.

SAC

Tech dummy hooks up Mac and Webtv

2009-02-13T01:12:00.000-08:00

Ok, I admit it it. I prayed bunches and bunches and bunches which can be the ONLY explanation as to why I managed WITH THE LORD'S HELP ( thank you Jesus! ) to hook up both my Mac and on the 12th, my WebTv. Just amazing. I was sure I would need the help of the Macman or the computer nerd. But with Jesus at the wheel ( so to speak ) and helping me figure out things, I am up and running with the tech toys in my new digs. YIPPIE!!!!!

Got to talk to some friends back east, one I had not talked to in months. And that was a treat. Also talked to a buddy in Hollywood whom I haven't talked to in months as well. And managed a quick call to a buddy in New Mexico too. And so it was a good day yesterday.

Having a one bedroom apartment is still new to me after living in singles for almost 20 years. It is a nice newness, though. And my closet is about as big as the one I had in Hollywood where three ( count em ) people lived in for months at a time. I have sort of squared things away ( this does not count the gazillion books and other assorted goodies in my storage that I have not been to in FOREVER ) but I am gonna take my time in really sorting things so the place is pristine. I eventually will need to grab some storage bins and move my books and other stuff out of the boxes. But that is for some future tomorrow.

It is gonna take some time to really get settled in but I am starting to already feel as if I "live here." That is a good feeling since it probably took me a few months to feel at home in

The Closet" which is what I called my old apartment in Cat City. This place is known as "The Haven." Of course there was the trauma of moving ( AGAIN ) but hopefully within a month or so I will start feeling settled.

My left knee has really been bothering me and I went hobbling around with a cane today in the apartment. Aside from the moving, I think it has been our damp and cold weather, the change in the barometric pressure. I felt that I could have used one of those little scooters today to wheel it around my apartment. Had clusters of spasms today as well but aside from the knee and also my ankle, I am not doing too bad pain wise.

SAC

moved and sort of online

2009-02-10T21:49:00.000-08:00

I hooked this puppy up myself BUT did not get my Webtv up and going because one of the pieces that was attached to it somehow ended up missing and of course it is the one thing that needs to be hooked up to it... grrrrrrrrrrr!!

The move was not fun and took two days. I am on very iffy speaking terms with one of my brothers ( not the macman but the Republican ). He helped me move and managed to help, threaten and insult me all at the same time. Eek.

This is short as it is sort of on and sort of not on and not sure of what all is going on but moving is well, it is that. Luckily I am moved in and most of the stuff is sort of put away. I realize I need a dining room table, an easy chair and a love seat or even a couch. Oh and several floor to ceiling bookcases. And a curio cabinet. And my things out of storage.

Need to charge the puppy.

Until next time.

SAC

packing blues

2009-01-25T22:51:00.000-08:00

I hate to pack and move. I like to think that I have the strength to do this but... I wish that I did but after about half an hour I am wiped out. Luckily I have been packing for months so there is not a lot to be done. But still I know things need to get done and of course I would like them to have been done yesterday. Where did all of the energy go to? This time next month will find me moved in and my internet and cable problems hopefully taken care of. Just how "settled" I will be, however, is anyone's guess. I think the biggest problem I have ( besides the lack of physical strength ) is what I touched on yesterday. Right now I can feel the creativity starting to flow. I am agitated and restless and want things already settled so I can just jump in and CREATE. But this is a process that needs to be done and everything in its time. The creativity will be like an impatient date who sits around in the living room waiting for you to get ready hours past the time you were supposed to. So much that needs to get done besides writing and singing and of course what would I rather do? I need to finish the packing and then the unpacking and then find doctors and get new glasses and then there is that stupid jury duty nonsense. And somewhere in all of that I will write.

This is a short breather and then pack to packing.

SAC

Writing my fantasy singing my songs

2009-01-24T02:02:00.000-08:00

All I really want to do is write my fantasy, write and sing my songs. Being poor and disabled totally bites. I guess this move is getting to me because I have had to pack up the songs and the fantasy writing and the thought of not working on it all because I have to pack and then I have to clean this place up nice and then move and then unpack is driving me nuts. I do not want to do anything but work on the writings and the such. Though I haven't really worked much on the songs at all in this last month. This past year has been productive for me as far as the fanciful scribbles go because I have been able to get a lot done. I finally finished my first book of fantasy. I am pretty much done with my world building of some of my fantasy and that has been a major project for decades. I enjoy writing on my little blog but know that while I probably am gonna use this more for my boomer recollections, rants, raves and the like, I am gonna need to toss up a fantasy and a lyrics blog. Once I can figure out how to toss on some songs then I might even toss up some veddy bad instrumental backgrounds with beautiful vocals and meaningful lyrics ( the tunes will be good just not well played ). I always thought if I got my songs up it would be because I had a demo but that is so expensive that I figure that to get them up even though unpolished would be ok especially since I have heard a lot of REALLY BAD stuff out there on the web and even though what I will toss out there will have dismiss background musical noise I know my vocals are good.

As far as the fantasy goes, I am wondering if I might toss up hollyWEIRD just so folks can read it and critique it. Though I might throw out some of the other projects I am working on. I am gonna now write a little about my writing projects, many of which I am been working on for decades. What I am thinking of doing is creating a blog or possibly multiple blogs to introduce the world to what I have created. And what I would really love ( aside from a publisher who would love me and be good to me, films, comics, and a rabid fan base ) would be to have others discover my worlds and then create blogs to write within my worlds, stories based therein. I love to read and can not think of anything I would enjoy more so here is just a little about my future endeavors.

Once upon a time a person got lost on a freeway in Orange County, California. They got off on the wrong exit. When they returned to the freeway and returned home they discovered it was 50 years later... welcome to Westgrove, California where this hapless driver took the wrong exit. In Westgrove you can find yourself, through dimensional portals, in the otherworld. The otherworld is in 3 sections. There is Biddenlarn ( borderland ), Faireland ( fairyland ) and Witzenlarn ( witchland ). I have finished work on Biddenlarn and have completed some stories for it. I have a series of books sort of outlined for it as well. I have notes on FL and WL but have not yet completed mapping them out yet.

Besides Westgrove and the otherworld I have the Absurdly Tall and Luxurious Hotel ( ATALH ) which has 550 floors, many levels below the lobby ( parking, service and storage, sewers, pits etc ) and a rooftop pool, spa and space port that takes one to the space station above it. From the space station a person can take a flight to hundreds of planets and galaxies ( the open worlds as the closed ones are just too gnarly to venture to ). One of the worlds is the world of ZooVeen which I started at the age of 15 ( but probably had another name for it which is lost to the mist of time ). ZooVeen has hundreds of countries ( I never do anything small in my fantasy ) and it also has time periods and history. Which then brings me to Elderlarn ( elderland ), the Evil Moon and Mildenlarn ( middleland ) which is on ZV. I am working on that and I think it might be what I open up for other writers first. But it is a toss up between that and Biddenlarn. Decisions! Decisions!

I also have written a few children's stories and might have another blog just for those. So once this trauma of the move is finally OVER I hope to start in on that. There has been the big move ( from Hollywood to Indio ) the transitional move which brought me here to Cat City and the little move ( back to Indio but to a nice place ) which hopefully will be for quite awhile unless I can get rich and own my own little piece of dirt somewhere. But it has not been an easy move and has been wrought with frustration and worse. I hope and pray the move goes smoother than the last two and that I can finally settle in and find some peace in my life again.

I guess the biggest frustration of creating and running across the roadblocks is the fact that if you are as latently artistic as I am the thing you want to do is to continue to create. BUT I do want an audience for what I write and what I sing and I hope to finally get things moving in that direction. The goal is to find a publisher who will be sympathetic with the fact that I m the sort of writing who primarily wants to write and that will take care of their end by publishing me. Moe on this in months to come. I do want to eventually see my fantasy as games and books and other things. So we will see what the future holds.

PS to ME It has been over 4 years ( count em ) since I had new glasses and I really need to get new ones. I can hardly read what I write. Hopefully once I get new glasses ( whenever ) I can stop getting so many visits from Mis Typo ( I know she loves me but still.. )

SAC

The Little Move Etc

2009-01-23T22:43:00.000-08:00

I have had problems with my internet connection lately and this is driving me absolutely bonkers. I have wanted to browse other blogs and also reply to anyone who has graciously commented ( thanks to any and all and at some point I hope to reply to comments ). I am going to try and get on prior to the move which is coming up before the first. I am excited about the move but also gong through the typical angst of moving. The process is NO FUN but has to be done. And I feel good about where I will be moving. I moved out here to be closer to my mother who is 81 and to be a short distance from here will be good. I believe that, in the long run, it is something that I will look back upon in the future and believe it was the best thing I could have done. Even though mom and I have our "moments" she is MOM and I love her so dearly. To be here with her and for her makes any problems small in comparison to not being near her and hardly seeing her.

My wonderful niece Rachel passed away at 29. And I know that I was able, in some small way, to lighten her burden. Being a normal savant, an artistic genius, I know what it is like to be treated as if I am less than human because I am artistic in a technological world that does not value the arts. Besides being beautiful, Rachel was a fabulous artist on so many levels. And I always told her so. She thanked for this the last time I saw her. Sometimes one makes decisions in their life hat are not necessarily be what they want to do. In Rachel's case, I would have been willing to have moved up north where she lived to help her. I had not yet told her this but she passed away before we could have had that conversation. In my mom's case, it was a decision to be near and hopefully to help her that was the catalyst that moved me back to the desert in almost 20 years. While I miss Hollywood and my friends there I know that moving here to be near mom was the right decision. But, I hate moving!

Even if one were in a financial situation where they did not have to pack and rent a U-Haul it has to be a hassle. First, there is the packing. Then there is the moving. After that there is unpacking. Then there is the half-comatose state one enters into for months as one gets over the trauma of moving. But by this time next month I will hopefully be settled in from the little move and get back to living a life.

Of course THEN I will have to go see about JURY DUTY. I think the state has me on speed dial when it comes to jury duty. Some people never get called. I ALWAYS get called and it infuriates me because I am disabled. Now lots of able bodied folks resent it when the disabled said they are not up to jury duty. The state now requires a disabled person to have a doctor's note. The problem with that is many disabled do not have the finances to go and get a doctor's excuse every year. Well that is a rant for another time ( ha ha, like my "other time rant" on cassettes that will happen one of these days ).

I took the day off from packing and will get back to it tomorrow. My arthritis is acting up and I have been also having spasms. Plus, my back has been acting up. Of course all of this happens right as I am packing to move. There should be some sort of variant to Murphy's Law about moving. There probably is. I am happy to have my little blog and feel that maybe within a few months I will be able to figure out how to put on photos and maybe even music. And be able to get my life back.

SAC

President Obama, Hillary and the Macman's blog

2009-01-20T17:30:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of the next four years under our first biracial President. While everyone talks up the fact that he is African-American, what seems to get lost in the shuffle is the fact that he is half white and was raised by a white mother who came from the Midwest. To me that makes who he is and what he has achieved even more remarkable. The races have come together within his own DNA. I wish him the very best in helping our country to heal to be all of us rather than some of us and THEM ( whomever THEM might be ). We certainly need to heal after the last 8 years. Two wars and the economy in shambles. I personally wish that there were no bailouts for all these rich banks and Wall Street. Is that helping the average American? I think not. But what happens in the future is now on the shoulders of a man who today took the oath of office. I would not want to run for President in the very best of times. It would be an incredible burden. But for those children to aspire to dream those dreams, having a biracial president has made that dream even more possible for ALL of us rather than just some of us. I am hoping and praying that Obama does a good job and that in 4 years we are on the road to recovery.

In 8 years ( if he does a good job he will be re-elected unless Americans are unspeakably brain dead ) maybe we can break the glass ceiling and put a woman in the White House. Of course, being a Democrat, I would say that would probably be Hillary Clinton though who knows what female would come up through the ranks to challenge the status quo. After all, who was Barack Obama 8 years ago? And while I am certainly not "for" a Republican president, even if it were to be a woman. I want the best person for the office of President and it would not matter their gender, the color of their skin, superficial things such as that.

So for now we have a biracial President, and we are hanging our hopes on him to make things right after so much wrong. It will not be easy and one hopes that we can do this together, Democrats and Republicans, Greens and Independents, as much as possible. I hope that we can put America back to work and I hope that we can return to strong unions with in shop training and a decent wage, pensions and health benefits that won't bankrupt a family. Hope, hope and more hope and yes we can! But we need to all roll up our shirt sleeves and get to work to make this country great again.

I am an American and love this country. I do not love her blindly, right or wrong, as I will speak up when it is wrong ---but that is part of the beauty of being an American, knowing that I CAN speak up when I might disagree with the majority on any given issue. Right now the majority is in a warm fuzzy afterglow concerning our new president. I will praise him when he does good and criticize when he screws up. And he will and already has his naysayers and they have the right to criticize him. That is the beauty of living in a country with a first amendment that protects our free speech. I might not agree with you but will defend your right to disagree with me when it comes to the Constitution of my country. Considering that there are countries where you could be shot for criticizing a ruler that is a big thing.

Now on to another subject. This little blog came into being with the help of my brother Hal aka the Macman. He is also the hiking man and has climbed some pretty high mountains. Right now he is working on his New Years' resolution to hike every day this year. Check him out! He is listed in my blogs that I watch. But you can also get there :http://hikeeveryday.blogspot.com/ He has some witty little comments and some beautiful photos of the Coachella Valley (Palm Springs is what outsiders call it but folks who live here refer to the area as the Coachella Valley or the Valley as Palm Springs is only one small city in the Valley ). And you can tell him his sister, the Snooty Aunt Cynthia, sent you for a peek. :-)

SAC

Meet Mis Esmeralda Typo

2009-01-19T16:51:00.001-08:00

Anyone who has ever instant messaged someone knows that they are probably ( we are talking about the normal person here ) dashed off a message and ended up with it full of typos. So I created a cantankerous sort of character to deal with my typos and introduced her to my friends -- Mis Esmeralda Typo. She is snooty ( like a certain Aunt Cynthia ) and does not like to be ignored. And if you do not acknowledge her then she will show up. Sometimes she shows up with an attitude and sometimes she is just excited to see you. Now why am I mentioning her on my blog? Welllllll, she has shown up here and wanted everyone to know of her existence. So in the future, those of you who might stumble across or become ( one hopes ) avid readers of my humble little scribblings, you will know it is not because I am some dumb such and such when it comes to spelling but it is merely that Mis Typo is wanting to make your acquaintance through my writings. While she is not as snotty as me she is working at it.

SAC

Happy Birthday EAP, JJ, MLK, EM, DP and Libby

2009-01-19T01:33:00.000-08:00

What a day January 19th is for birthdays! For some folks, of course, the BIG birthday day is December 25th, the alleged date of the birth of Jesus Christ. In His case it does not matter when He was born but THAT He was born. Three days later is my birthday. I share it with Woodrow Wilson and I'm in between Marlene Dietrich ( the 27th ) and Marianne Faithfull ( the 29th ) two cool blondes if there ever were any. Add me and you have three cool blondes. :-) In January, there is the celebration of the king of rock and roll, Elvis Presley. And I am sure that a certain David Jones aka Bowie has always loved sharing his birthday with "the king."

I have always loathed my birthday, which, as Holy Innocent's Day, is considered to be the unluckiest day of the year. Considering how accident prone I have been over the years there might be some validity to that. But I have two other "birthdays" I can celebrate for myself. I can celebrate my "half birthday" which is on June 14. That would make me 30 rather than 60 and that would be quite fine with me. And I would not have to hear the dreadful "I would have bought you a birthday present but I spent it all on Christmas ( and not for me ) or "This is your birthday and your Christmas present COMBINED." Asking someone born near Christmas if they have ever heard that before and they will break out into hysterical laughter. And after Christmas sales --- my parents remembered them differently --- they would take me out to get things for my birthday at all of those lovely after Christmas sales. Of course they also would drag along my younger siblings who made out like bandits l but my parents never remembered spending any money except on me. Sigh. I still haven't been able to convince others they should toss me a party ever couple of years on the 14th of June. But I am working on it.

My dad and my aunt Juanita both had the same birthday in November. I had near death experience, also in November, and my beautiful niece Rachel was born 3 years later on that day. So that day will always be special for me, especially as she passed away at the age of 29, in 2007. I would so have loved for her to have lived her 30th birthday and celebrated it as a full and not a half birthday. When her mom Libby and I celebrate our birthdays and turn 29 again we know Rachel is with us as she is celebrating her 29th birthday forever.

And then there is January 19th. My friend, Eddie Madigan, was a 19th of January guy. He loved his heavy metal and was crazy about Ronnie James Dio. Eddie was in a band. He was a singer. He died at the ripe young age of 21 from a bee sting. And yes, I will always miss him and be saddened that he died so young. Did I mention he was a singer? What is it about this day that makes so many singers, so many talented people? Janis Joplin was born on January 19th. I knew the lady and respected that powerhouse white girl blues voice of hers. Janis knew I had a younger sister who was born on the same day. Libby has a smooth silk voice is more like Karen Carpenter ( ok, granted, it would be a KC singing doowop...) than Janis Joplin but until she discovered that beautiful voice of hers she WANTED to sound like Janis. There is also Dolly Parton, she of the tiny hourglass figure, the big blonde wigs and the sweet as sugar soprano singing about a bargain store or that she would always love you but please don't mess with that redhead named Jolene.

Probably one of the biggest influences of many American writers was Edgar Allan Poe. His birthday also falls on January 19th. His wonderful macabre poetry, his dark tales of terror, the first detective tale ( he was credited with originating the mystery genre and today the finest in mystery writers receives its Oscar equivalent: the Edgar ). My own fantasy writing often borders on the dark side and I know where credit is due so thank you Edgar. You were one of my earliest influences.

Speaking of writers and also of speeches, who can forget the words spoken so eloquently "I have a dream" said Martin Luther King who was, you got it, another January 19th birthday baby. He has his own national holiday that people celebrate. Today we honor and celebrate the birthdays of those we love and admire on this, a birthday of singers, sisters, writer/poets, and preachers for civil rights We look towards their unbirthday of tomorrow when the world watches as we celebrate another birthday --- the birthday of civility, the birth of a new beginning, a biracial president who will hopefully give hope to the hopeless, and bring back the dignity that this nation has been lacking since its highest office was swindled by a favored son.

Happy birthday, Libby. And may it continue into tomorrow as we see a new day dawning and a hope for not only our future but for that of our children and theirs.

SAC

ISP Blues Rant and Blog surfing Rave

2009-01-18T22:57:00.000-08:00

I log on today and poof I found that the isp was not being nice to me... GRRRRRR! Why does life have to be so complicated? Even now the connection is being iffy on me. One of my girlfriends called me today and when I mentioned what was happening she said it is possible that there was a lot of traffic or this or that. PHOOEY. Since I am paying for high speed I want my high speed to be there and on... no excuses. Since I have moved into the desert I have not been happy with the cable or the phone service. But let's here it for the fact that people here need cable ( don't get me started on the digital switchover nonsense that the big corporations have suckered a number of the American public into believing they must have ) or they have no tv. But there is one cable company for the entire valley. Hmmm, in the good old days that would be called monopoly. The same with the phone. While my cell phone is a different company, the landline here is one company and you have to have that one or you don't get a landline. So their service for all of that can be so so and they don't care as they if you don't go with them that you don't get service in your area. My WebTv was also acting up earlier so there might be some validity to what Angie said. But that doesn't mean I am happy about it. When I want to get online I want to do it right then and there and not hours later. Patience is most definitely not a virtue of mine when it comes to the internet.

On to better subjects. Yesterday I meander around surfing the blogs and found some to add to my list of must look at. Now if I can just stay online long enough to do so.... I clicked on the blog of the day for 2008 as this month and then bookmarked some and added some to follow. Word to wise to bloggers -- make it easy for those of us TDs ( tech dummys ) have a nice little spot where we can click on to follow your blog and you might get folks who can then click on when they are on their own blog. At any rate, I added blogs that looked interesting with a number of different subjects. And in the following days, weeks and months I have gonna have fun wading my way through them. And hopefully some of these fine folk will come and visit me and I might get to know some new friends. The internet has been wonderful for that and I look forward to new addresses for my Christmas card list. :-)

Analog In Digital World BIG RANT

2009-01-17T17:29:00.000-08:00

Ok, as I mentioned in my last post, I am the tech dummy of the universe. Considering I am 60 years old ( when the heck did THAT happen hahaha! ), this shouldn't come as too much of a surprise. When I was a child computers were the stuff of science fiction. I am also artistic and I have found that a lot of artistic folk, especially musicians, are not tech savvy either. So that brings us to this digital thang... Give me my analog! At least give me the opportunity to CHOOSE whether I want analog or digital. Now I realize that there are folks out there that prefer digital and think it is just wunderbar. Well, I am not one of them. I much prefer analog for a couple of reasons. First of all, it sounds better. Analog is warm and it has a nice big fat sound. To my ears ( ears that the late, great Jimi Hendrix respected, just so you will know ) analog is the sound that I hear. I have heard the argument that digital is the truer sound. For whom? Not for me! I am not just talking about the sound I hear when I turn on a record player or a cassette player. I am talking about the sound that I hear when I wake up ( usually in the afternoon because that I am a night owl ). I do not hear birdsong in digital. I hear it in analog. Before the advent of digital, the media went on and on about what a great sound it was and how superior it was to analog it was. Excuse me? What planet were they on? How about the planet called corporate greed? It is the big corporations who have been shoving this pure unadulterated "digital sounds better than analog" nonsense down our ears. No it does not sound better. I remember the first time I heard digital. They were phasing out cassette tapes ( more on my cassette recorder rant for another day. I promise! ) and shoving CDs that were twice as expensive down our ears. Of course all the yuppies out there went to replace their records and cassettes with the new toy on the block. And the big corporations and their paid for media waxed eloquent about how cassettes were no longer selling ( just for the record, no pun intended, they did the same thing when they brought out cassettes and phased out vinyl ) and how CD sales were doing so wonderfully.Of course they did not tell the public that they were no longer putting out cassettes of current artists and so even if people wanted to buy a recording on cassette they could not find them and the CDs were priced twice as much or more. I was dismayed, not only because of the price of the CDs but because they did not sound as good as the cassettes or my old vinyl records. Digital sounds sterile, it sounds brittle, thin and cold. It does not have the nice big fat analog sound, Record producers must agree with me because they record in analog first to get that great sound. And don't even get me started on that digital switch over from analog... ok, get me started on it but that is another rant for another day.

SAC

Oh YES I AM a tech dummy...

2009-01-15T00:13:00.000-08:00

I recently had a problem with my internet connection and had to call in the big guns ( my brother Hal, the Macman ) but that was the least of it in the long run. While I HAVe learned to log into my blog and write my wonderful words of wisdom, simple little things such as figuring out some of my email and getting back to certain places or saving websites and then clicking them on and naming my folders... EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!! Somebody take me back in time where typing was mailing a letter and sending it off, typing on a manual typewriter blah blah blah and then well, just things like that. I am soooo not a tech person. I have yet to figure out my VCR and it is obsolete now and there are other items I have that have never been used because I just am NOT MECHANICAL. It boils down to mechanics, electronics and technology. And no, I do not know how to drive. I have mastered the art of turning on the tv and of clicking on channels and even being able to hit mute or the return to the last channel button. Bully for me! And I am very upset about how the stupid manufacturers are phasing out cassette players ( another rant for that on another day ). Because I do know how to click on buttons and turn things on and off and even figured and fiddled with learning some equalizer features... But technology has left me in the dust.. and those who are so arrogant and their attitudes... sheesh!

The attitude is that one must change with the times but I have a huge problem with that. Why should I change when what worked yesterday ain't broken and I don't really feel it needs to be fixed. It needs to be brought back. The biggest problem with technology ( aside from the crippling price of anything new ) is that those who create it need to learn that lovely principle of "KISS." No, not KISS as in the rock band but KISS as in Keep it simple, stupid.

I keep telling myself that things will suddenly get better, I will finally unravel the mysteries and learn how to use this durn thing and that life will be good.

I need to learn to type up and save what I type and be able to then toss it onto a usb thingy and also learn my printer and type up my fantasy stuff longhand. Then I need to learn how to make little videos of the future star, Snooty Aunt Cynthia, and toss em onto youtube. Then the star of the 60s that never was, Psyche Daul of the Psychedaulics, the band that never was, can have her music created on garage band and that can get tossed onto itunes and youtube. Ah the ambitions of the over the hill ( which is better than under it unless one owns a cave ) spinster with her dreams of glory. Now if I could only use this technology thing that I am soooooo lousy at to help me achieve those dreams rather than thwart them.

SAC

frantic and offline

2009-01-12T12:44:00.000-08:00

Ah for my brother Hal who is the tech smarty to my tech dummy! For some cockamamie reason my internet was not working on Thursday. Pfft. So I tried it on Friday and no go. Of course by then I am totally freaking out. I call my brother Hal, the Macman and he comes over with his two boys to check out my little Angel ( as I now call my Mac. I was calling this machine Butch but it seems more like an Angel, or at least I hope that it one day will be in the sense of "angel" being an investor in my creative endeavors . He fiddled around with it and HE couldn't get it to work. So he came back today and called Verizon ( who does not do weekends when it comes to service so of course if things go wrong they do so on weekends. I think that is some sort of variant of Murphy's Law ). He talked with them a bit and did some stuff and voila! I am back in the saddle again.. yippie yippie and more yippie. I probably was going to write some wonderful and profound stuff but forgot what it was.. okay, maybe I didn't but that can wait for another posting as this one is to just show my gratitude of being back online.

The ever humble SAC

Never Say Never

2009-01-06T02:07:00.000-08:00

If someone were to ask my friends about what my personality is like they would probably say I was a nice person and some such rot. Or, to quote one of them, they might say I was a cream puff. But how many of them would say that I am ( knowing myself well or so I choose to believe ) defiant? Defiance has helped me wade through this mire known as life. I am ornery and I am cantankerous at times and I think it is a good part of my personality to be so. For all that I am a cream puff, I am a cream puff with an attitude, a marshmallow with claws.. I stop and smell the roses and listen to their thorns roar.

I am disabled and live on the government's dole and have done so for decades. I was disabled by an assault when I was 22. I spent my time as a homeless person and thanked God for life on a day of hunger and biting cold. That helped me have gratitude regardless of the circumstances I might find myself in. Ok, so that makes me a cream puff but it also makes me defiant in the face of adversity.

Do I have a rich dream life, a fantasy world where I am one of the rich and famous? Well duh. It keeps me sane. It also inspires me and helps me to create. I have created not one but hundreds of fantasy worlds. And hopefully one day I will profit from them. In the meantime they keep me from being bored. I started writing fantasy when I was in my teens. I had a three hundred page outline ( started at age 15 ) which was accidently lost when I was 18. So after that I abandoned fantasy writing for almost a decade.

I concentrated on poetry ( starving, as my dad once told me I would ) and dancing. You don't get hired as a dancer if you dance to melodic hard rock and wear clothes but the flame of dance ate me up for 11 years until I gained weight and told myself I was no longer a dancer. Ok, I am still a dancer though weight gain, age and arthritis might mock my love of movement and music. I do not have the fantasy of stages to dance upon as I once did in my youth. That is one fantasy which has bitten the dust because of a reality check that I made years ago. I had satisfied myself with what I did creatively as a dancer. A former student of Isadora Duncan once approached me in the Panhandle of Golden Gate Park. She had seen me dance and she told me I reminded her of her teacher. So what if I was not world famous as a dancer? I had my day. The memories of dancing will stay with me as I grow older. And they are good memories.

After I was disabled I eventually got on SSI. Within a year I began to start writing fantasy again. It had originally been to mainly create a world and its history. I could not afford a typewriter or I would buy some old upright behemoth at a yard sale for ten bucks but would not have the money to have it repaired.

Then in 1985 I was hit by car while on a bicycle. I was 36. I was thinking of learning to use a word processor at the time and when I went to see about learning it I had PTSD of the car hitting me again. I was injured with neuritis in my left hand ( I am left handed ) and as a result of the injury could no longer type on a manual typewriter without horrible pain. The result of this was a world of frustration and overwhelming depression. One day I was listening to the radio and starting singing along to whatever song was on it ( I don't remember the song even though it impacted my life dramatically ). Voila! That triggered songwriting as singing brought me joy.

Initially the songwriting was something to get me out of my funk of depression but, like many things creative, it took on a life of its own. In 1989, at the age of 40, I moved to Hollywood, that neon district of Los Angeles, shining bright with stars and limelights, which I hoped might have my name on them at some point. I sang a cappella at open mikes and pleaded for an accompanist that never showed up. Squirrelly young men made passes at me which was annoying rather than complimenting.

I continued with my fantasy writing ( still in longhand, for the most part ) and scribbled out thousands of songs. From 1985 to 2009 I have written over 9300 songs and some of them ( stroke, stroke --- here is when I pat myself on the back ) are pretty darn good if I must say so myself and of course I will. Others have told me how good I am. Which is lovely but I am still poor and unknown.

I was/am poor, disabled, with no transportation, not so young ( ok, downright old in the eyes of the cruel and fickle world ) and not a size zero. But heck, I could make em shut up and give me pin drop silence at a noisy little Irish pub. I could make strangers come up to me and say "Beautiful" about my songs.

In 1994 I fell on some stairs right after the Northridge quake which triggered the pre-existing condition ( I had convulsions from a twisted neck after the assault in 71 ). I am still spasmodic and have arthritis in not only my upper where the twisted neck pinched a nerve but also in my dancing legs and feet ( left knee, left ankle ). Sometimes I live with nasty pain. It is not always easy for me to get around. I walk with a cane. And riding on buses can trigger the spasms.

I just turned 60 this last month. My friends and strangers tell me that I look about 45 or even younger. That is nice. I think it is defiance that keeps me young. It is never letting the dreams die that keeps me young. I am 60 years old and I still want to be a rock star. I have over 9000 songs and some of them are really good. I have a beautiful soprano voice and the experience to growl or purr or sing a lullaby.

I am a late bloomer and a Pollyanna with an attitude. I will never say never. I will continue to have the dream. And one day I hope and I pray that my dream of self reliance, whether it come from my singing or from my writings, will see itself becoming reality. In the meantime I will never say never. I will remain defiant. And when ( I refuse to allow "if" into my vocabulary concerning this issue ) my little ship finally comes into the harbor, I will swim out to greet it and sing it a song to guide it safely to shore.

SAC

Changes ( costs an arm and a leg )

2009-01-04T18:08:00.000-08:00

I am moving within the month so there is a ton of things I need to get done. And while I am trying to remain calm it is like a calm in the midst of the storm. And then there are the expenses. EEK. The cost of moving, the security deposit, the cost for getting the phone and cable and utilities turned on, all the deposits and service costs for that. YIKES. And then moving and getting settled. When I moved into Hollywood years ago, I paid my security deposit, got my phone turned on and moved in. I didn't have cable because there were a lot of local channels, unlike the cable monopoly here where one has to have cable or satellite tv or they have no tv. My utilities were included but out here I pay electricity ( here ) and will pay gas as well ( once I move ).

I do have the money for that right now ( thank goodness ) but it does cramp my style as far as the things I feel I NEED. I don't know what all made it to my storage or what might have been stolen by a sticky fingered individual I am not gonna name ( he knows who he is ). So I hope my posts and and pans and baking sheets made the trip. I have moved THREE times ( including this next move ) since September 2007. Prior to that I had moved once in almost 13 years. So I had sunk down roots and it was a rude awakening to move not only once but so many times. I just want to feel settled in again. I want to be in a place where I feel as if I am HOME.

Hopefully a year from now will see me truly settled after Hollywood and what bit the dust and needs to be replaced or forgotten about. It is the "replacing" part that I dread. I do want to buy a left handed guitar and see about learning it. But if that is a resolution I break then so be it. And while there is a part of me that wants to do this immediately possibly I could still do this later in the year, depending on my finances and other things going on in my life. I am thinking that I might need to revise my resolutions so that the try to get to the World Con becomes the biggie resolution though it will be a cash drain to get there as opposed to the cost of the guitar. Because the WC is in San Jose and the next few years it is not going to get as close to me. And t would be a wonderful opportunity for networking and meeting editors from different publishing company who I could then show hollyWEIRD to. But we will see what the year brings.

Then there are the things I want... a new tv ( my old ones are beyond ancient and have antennas but no plugs to hook up a VCR or DVD player ). And I need a decent camera and a camcorder as well. Oh the things I think I need... And then there is a decent double cassette recorder with a built in mic which I CAN NOT FIND. Well, that will be a rant for another time ( I promise ). The essentials will be just to get me moved and settled and sorted out. And then I need to get things together to type up hollyWEIRD and get it copyrighted at the DC money pit ( copyright office ) and also copyright at least another tape of songs. Then watch out world! I will see about getting hollyWEIRD published ( if nothing else I will see about blogging it here in another blog ) and uploading some videos of my songs to youtube.

This new year is seeing a swarm of activity and change for my life. I am hoping and praying it is a good year and that all of this change will be for the positive. And once I move I might want to take a nap for 6 months or so to recuperate from the last couple of years ( sigh ) but I know that there will be too much that I need to get done. I have been working too hard for decades on what I do creatively so know that rather than relaxing I will want to get back to the writing and the singing as soon as possible after the move.

I might not get cable hooked up as it is so expensive and the money saved could go towards other things I would like to get. I would miss HGTV and TCM but I can go to the HGTV website and the shows I enjoy on TCM I could order on DVD and end up with a nice little collection for the monthly cost of cable. And I am not satisfied with the cable as some channels I am paying to bleed into others so I can not see them ( especially VH-1 ) and others have disappeared. And the cost is too expensive ( more than my phone ). Even when I complain of the bleeding and loss of channels I pay for nothing is done to correct it. So I am seriously thinking of being without tv for awhile. Choosing between the internet and cable, the net wins hands down. I enjoy watching tv but can live without it.

Next month will see me in a new place and I am looking forward but also dreading the move. Hopefully by this time a month from now ( ok, maybe 2 months from now, as the phone will probably take longer than a few days to be turned on, grrrrrrr!!!! ) will find me sitting back and relaxing in my new apartment with everything turned on and working and my settling in. And hopefully by March I can find myself saving for things I would like or at least looking towards the future and seeing a way to cut corners to do so.

And here is hoping and praying that I do not move again unless I become self-sufficient and can afford to buy my own house ( hopefully before the prices in the valley go up ). I am not thinking of that now, just of the move to make in less than a month.

SAC

resolutions 2009

2009-01-02T00:02:00.000-08:00

I have learned, in the past, that if one writes out a big old list of New Years resolutions that the vast majority of them, if any of them, will be broken. Last year was a rather dismal year. It had its high points but unfortunately its bigger low points. Which I am not going to go into here as 2008 is over and I am not looking back. I am looking forward. One thing about last year is I don't think I wrote down any resolutions but I did make two of them. I made a resolution not to drink alcohol for a year due to the substance abuse problems of some people I know. I managed to keep that resolution. And last year was a year of turbulence and angst for me and I could have used a good drink or two upon occasion! This year I will possibly have that drink or two that I denied myself last year but not in front of those people who have drinking problems. It isn't that they need any excuse but seeing me drink might make them feel it is ok for them to drink. I do not have a drinking problem. I am lucky in that if it were drugs, alcohol or cigarettes, they were always something I never felt I had to have. If they were there sometimes I would indulge myself with them ( though not lately ). But I never felt I had to make them the center of my life.

The other resolution I made last year was to finish my first fantasy book, hollyWEIRD. I did that. Ok, it is in the first draft but I am pleased with it and it is DONE.

This year will be a little different. I will make four resolutions and then there are the "I am going to try and do this" sort of resolution. That means I will try and do something but won't promise myself it will get done. It is more if it is supposed to happen it will happen and I will try. But no promises to myself to do it.

So here are the resolutions: I will move and work towards getting settled. I will buy a left handed guitar and work towards learning to play it so I can accompany myself on it. That should possibly be a try but it is going to be a resolution. What the heck. I am gonna go for it. I will type up, print out and copyright hollyWEIRD. I will work towards taking the advice I often give others concerning counting my blessings. I will try and do this even if PMS ( post menopause sucks ) makes me feel angry, depressed or anxious. I will trust Jesus to carry me through the storm of my life and thank God for that biggest blessing of His love and salvation.

Now for the "I will try" sort of resolutions. I will try to make it to the World Con in San Jose in the fall. I will try and write another book. I might even try and put together a poetry book. I will try and get some music of me up on youtube and on itunes if possible.

That is it for the moment. And as far as prayers, I am not going count them as resolutions. I ask God to bless this year and to use me for His glory. I pray Jesus blesses me according to His will and helps me draw closer to Him.

Happy New Year and God bless you!

SAC

I love my friends RAVE

2008-12-31T16:22:00.000-08:00

Since I moved out to the desert I have not seen my friends nor have I been back to my old haunts in Hollywood. Although we were not able to hook up for my 60th ( rant below on the 28th ) my two buds Bridget and Jeff drove all the way out from L.A. just to take me to lunch and celebrate my birthday. We went to a Mexican restaurant around the corner and then to Coco's for pie ( I had boysenberry which is my all time favorite ). We then hit a few thrift stores and they came over for a few minutes to my place before tackling the traffic of New Years Eve. Now is that friendship or what? What sweetie pies they are! I love my friends. They are the BEST. And I know they are gonna face the horror of L.A. traffic for New Years Eve ( Big major EEEEKKKKK!!! ). So this year, which has pretty much been a wash, ended on a high note thanks for my wonderful buddies. Thank you thank you Bridge and Jeff for driving the extra mile and cheering me up. Thank God for wonderful friends who are such a blessing.

Video Revived The Radio Star RAVE

2008-12-29T14:16:00.000-08:00

I just recently got a computer. Prior to that I had been on a Webtv ( which I still have ). And on the computer there are many thing one can do and see that they do not get with the high rent low memory browser of Webtv. Such as youtube.. I am an addict! I have youtubeitis! I have discovered the music of my youth and so much more! It is great looking at old clips from Shindig and Hullabaloo. I have watched Pavlova and Little Egypt dance! And then there was Rudolph Valentino doing the tango. Not to mention the most violent dance of them all, the Apache -- which not only led to the Tango but also to the Lindy! I have discovered new bands to enjoy and new singers -- more of older ones from the 50s or before on through the 80s. The other night I spent watching clips of "hair bands" from the 80s. That singer from Banshee is really cute -- and I am not into blonds! And that singer from Baton Rouge... now there is another cutie! It is fun watching all of this old footage. Garage bands of the 60s. Current girl goth punk bands of today. Mod and psychedelic fashions of the 60s --- check out Julie Driscoll doing Season Of The Witch. Tres cool! Or seeing videos once seen in the 80s --- or from tv shows of the 60s. And wayyyy before that. Wild jazz music from the 20s and look at the flappers and their fashions. Wooohooohoo!!! Love em! Some of the music does not have video footage but people have put up an album cover and then played the music. And I am loving it. Of course some of the singers or bands are REALLY AWFUL. But there are also some great bands and singers to hear and enjoy. I hope to be able to do some rants raves and reviews here or on youtube in future months to comment on some of the really good and really horrible music I find. Part of the fun is reading the comments of others --- such as someone thanking the person who put up the music or video clip because it is something they had not heard in 40 years! While everyone talks of ipods and of various music channels and stations who would have known that my favorite "radio station" would turn out to be youtube? In this instance it is a case of "video revived the radio star" --- including so many radio stars I either had never heard of or had heard of but had never heard. Here are just a few I have heard or seen in the last month or so: Sophie Tucker, Libby Holman, Helen Kane ( whom Betty Boop was inspired by ), Helen Morgan, Ruth Brown, Big Mama Thorton. The original Shake Rattle and Roll ( it wasn't Bill Hailey and the Comets ). What a treasure! I have just started to explore rockabilly ( love anything Wanda Jackson does, what an amazing voice! ) and wait until I get to some of those old blues clips! SAC

Happy big 6-0 ( wanna drink ) Big rant

2008-12-28T22:47:00.000-08:00

I am not happy today. It is my 60th birthday ansd I SHOULD be happy but it has been miserable from the git go. I was supposed to be celebrating it with family and friends and that basically did not happen. I have yet to figure out what the hell it is about me that makes my family treat me as if my life and celebrating it do not matter. Maybe because I am single never married. Maybe it is because I am the poor relation. Who knows? They have never accepted my disability as being a disability. So maybe it is their contempt of me for being disabled and they only consider me to be a deadbeat. I love my mom but no matter how I have tried she will constantly harp on the fact that heaven forbid I was a hippie chick back in the 60s. I tell her NOT to bring this up anymore, especially in light of a family member who has substance abuse problems. She can make excuses for his behavior and will then say "You did drugs blah blah blah. GET OVER IT, MOM!!!! I took up the straight and narrow half a life time ago or more and yet you go on and on and on and all I get is kicked to the curb over this issue. NO praise for who I am now and have been for DECADES. All I get is criticism because of a few short years in my turbulent youth. And today I got more of it. Excuses for the deadbeats or those who not only do not try but who will con and lie to keep up their bad behavior. I am sick of being your whipping girl. And do you make allowances for my birthday concerning this? NO. I was not responsible for the bombing on 9-11. I did not cause the Northridge quake or the L.A. riots. I am not responsible for the drug wars in Mexico. I am not the scapegoat of the universe. Nor, because I am the oldest sister of my siblings am I going to be the surrogate of the older sister of YOURS who beat up on you. I have more than bent over backwards to love you and try and please you and not one damn thing seems to make you do anything but see me as some little hippie who formerly used drugs recreationally. Last year I made a New Years resolution to not drink as there are family members who have problems with substance abuse including alcohol. This year I will make no such resolution as I definitely would have LOVED to have had a drink today... I could have used one. Athol Brose would have been nice ( maybe for New Years day.. ). And next year my resolutions will include not to believe ( with the exception of one brother who has never flaked on me or been anything less than honest with me, a great guy; you know who you are ) anything someone in my family promises me --- especially as my mother will then find some excuse to make an excuse for them flaking on me and then will criticize me.
Now on to the lemonade birthdays --- this birthday, which I had been so looking towards, was a big lemon as far as my family was concerned. I ranted on that enough so let me talk about my friends. I have great friends. Sure there have been false ones and turncoats along the way. But I have been blessed both with what I refer to as face to face friends and also my cyber buddies ( some call face to face friends real life friends but the truth is that many of my cyber buds as are real and more real in my life than those I have met face to face ). So my family handed me a big fat lemon for my birthday. They don't GET that my 60th birthday is on the day I was BORN 60 years ago. What is it? This is not a week day but for some freakin' reason they could not deal with actually celebrating it TODAY. And NO, the day BEFORE and the day AFTER are not THE BIRTHDAY when it is a milestone such as 60. However, while I was by my lonesome when it came to anyone being there to help me celebrate on this day in person I did get a lovely cyber party over at Prof H's newsgroup on Webtv. And I got emails from a couple of friends, was able to talk to Bridget and her hubby Johnny, got a lovely voice mail from my friend Jeff Copeland and had a nice chat with my friend David in New Mexico. So that made some lemonade of a weeping not too happy turning 60 and feeling 90 birthday... one last thing on this, it seems as if my "celebrating the 60s" theme is going to have to apply to the entire decade as it will take me at least that long to get over how my family continues to blow me off regardless of the day.
Post script to my rainy day comment on suicides. One of my sisters pointed out that many suicides are committed by mentally ill, especially bi-polars. Depression sucks ( been there, had the pity party ) but I still stand by what I wrote --- for those who are not mentally ill. It does not apply to those with a mental illness. I would advise someone who is suicidal to first see if something worthwhile can help you get out of your funk. If not try and contact a mental health clinic about your problem BUT insist on being tested to see if you have a chemical imbalance as bi-polars should not take certain medications for depressives. I will be talking more on the subject of mental illness at another time. Ok, enough of this. Time to sign off on this lemonade birthday... SAC

YOUR Wonderful Life

2008-12-22T16:19:00.000-08:00

Over a decade ago I was in my hometown of Seattle. I had returned from visiting with an elderly great aunt who lived in Yakima. I had been in Seattle before and after that visit and while there I had enjoyed the beauty of autumn and the blazing colors that were such a visual joy. But when I returned from my visit to my aunt I found that Seattle was dismal and gray. It was not just that it was rainy. Seattle is legendary for its rain. It rains year round, though it is not so much of a constant deluge, more of the ever present drizzle. Seattle winters are brutal when it comes to cold, wet and wind. The city that has been so vibrant in autumn's glorious gown of sunshine yellows, antique golds, flaming reds and warm browns was now leeched of color. The city was now shaded in the despairing shadows of gray gloom. This was the melancholy gray of the most sinister of depressions --- a suicide gray. According to statistics, more people commit suicide in that barren limb dreariness of winter in Seattle then in any other time of the year.

So let us talk of this time of the year. It is not only Seattle but it is the holidays of Christmas and New Years that also finds people deciding to exit this life by their own hand. Depression brings thoughts that life is no longer worth living, that life is something that a person need no longer hold on to as if it were a hoard of dragon's gold. "No one loves me. Who will care if I am no longer here? My life does not matter." But those who kill themselves are wrong. Life IS worth living. and their lives might have made a difference if they had not selfishly decide to kill themselves. "Selfishly?" You might ask. How can one say that some poor soul who had decided to end their life is selfish? But killing oneself is a selfish and a cowardly act. It is a craven act against God and against life itself.

What are the odds that one will be born in the first place? It is chance and circumstance that has written much of that tale. What were the odds your parents would meet, that you would be conceived and then be born? Pretty astronomical, if one stops to think about it. And now you want to toss it all away. Why? Because your life is as gray as the weather outside. Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. I think I will eat worms and die. Oh boohoo! I am not accepting an invitation to your pity party. Nor would I show up at your funeral to mourn one who tossed away this great gift that was given to them.

In the movie classic "It's A Wonderful Life" Jimmy Stewart plays a distraught banker of a small town who is facing ruin. He decides he will kill himself. Instead he "saves" his guardian angel who grants him his wish when he exclaims "I wish I had never been born." It turns out that he had lived a wonderful life that had saved others from poverty and even from death. His life had been a life worth living and at the end of the movie he realizes this.

So what about your own wonderful life? Isn't it worth living? One can wallow in self-pity and depression to the point of considering or attempting suicide. Or they can do the best to find a way to make themselves feel good. Sometimes this can be a personal thing such as reading an uplifting book or tackling some job around the house that needs doing and will make one feel satisfied once it is done. But there are other things one can do. Get off your duff and put aside your personal misery. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or a local homeless shelter. If you know of elderly or disabled neighbors, check on them and ask if you might help them in some way. It is YOUR wonderful life and you can use it to make others live better lives just because you are living and have chosen to give of yourself.

Do not let the gray or the drear keep you down. Uplift the spirits of others and find out just how much your own life is really worth. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Snooty Aunt Cynthia

Counting Blessings

2008-11-23T22:24:00.000-08:00

It would be so easy to spend my time here ranting. There is a lot to rant about but that is to for today's post. Sometimes life seems a bit much and yet.. what are the odds that a person would be born in the first place? The beauty of a sunset or a sunrise, the soft fluff of kitten's purr along with a purr as loud as an airplane, these are blessings. The soft brown gaze of a playful puppy, the laughter of a friend. We so often take blessings for granted. But we do need to stop and count our blessings. Smelling roses and enjoying their radiant colors. Rainbows after rain, the fresh smell after the storm when the world seems new. The sighting of wildlife in a mountain forest, the roar of surf and the feeling one gets of restlessness and a wild peace, on the shoreline of an ocean. The smile of your aged parent. The thanksgiving blessing of a brother, eating till we take our fill. Wide eyes bright with wonder on Christmas morning. Greetings of strangers when your eyes meet in public and they say "Have a nice day" and you reply "The same to you.". Light those candles in the darkness of despair, light them with the blessings you can find in memory or in the reality of the now.

I Want My Grandma Shoes

2008-11-21T14:37:00.000-08:00

As I became older my legs decided that rather than dancing around like a graceful faery at twilight, thy would adopt a third leg known as a cane. So I am not quite so spry as I was in my 20s. And yet, in my late teens and 20s there was something I would have been able to get my grubby young hands on that I do not have access to today: grandma shoes. My girlfriend Ann and I had "granny shoes" ( as we called them then ) to go dancing it. They were wonderful! These were black leather or kidskin oxfords with cuban heels that were usually 1 1/2 to 2 inches, maybe 2 1/2 inches on the outside. They had stitching on the sides, often of flowers. They were usually black. They had wonderful arch support. When the heels would wear down you could take them to a shoe repair and voila they were good again. These were the sort of shoes that young adults could wear out dancing all night and then walk 10 miles in ( and probably 10 miles in the snow, providing one wore some plastic galoshes over them ). These lovely shoes were the usual dress or going to market shoes of little old ladies such as my grandma Lalia.

So WHERE are my grandma shoes now that I am grandma age and can use them? In the last few months I have seen "grandma shoes" in the fashion magazines. Sort of. They are lace up black oxfords but there is one major problem with these shoes. THEY HAVE SIX INCH HEELS!!!!!!!! I am sorry but those are not grandma shoes. They are break your body shoes. The young women growing up right now who wear these shoes with such high heels have no clue as to the problems they will have as they age. But then the young are invincible, aren't they? I know I certainly thought so when I was younger.

I want my grandma shoes. I want the same sort of wonderful shoes that my grandma wore when she was a little old lady. I do not want a pair of pseudo-grandma shoes. I want the real thing. I want a well made pair of black oxfords with cuban heels that are 2 inches and under. I want good arch support. Athletic shoes are lovely but they are dressy shoes that are all occasion like grandma shoes were. So could some manufacturer get a clue? I discussed this with other women my age and yes, they also remember their grandmothers wearing "grandma shoes." There would be a huge market for these shoes. Our aging feet, our tired legs, would thank you. You could make a bundle of money off of baby boomer women! There are millions of us! And we do not want 6 inch heels. We do not want 4 inch heels. We want lower heels because then we can walk and dance and skip down a street for joy because we have stylish shoes that make our feet feel good and that make us feel good because we would look great. So give me my grandma shoes. And if you can, could you make them in scarlet red?

Shoddy and Restock {RANT}

2008-11-20T15:11:00.000-08:00

Back in the good old days ( horse and buggy days and all that ) things to buy at stores were MADE IN AMERICA. These items were usually made in union shops and there would be a union tag on them. Nowadays finding a Made In USA label is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Almost everything is made in China or somewhere else. Even made in USA can be misleading. The union labels are gone and if it is "Made In USA" it is usually made by illegals under sweatshop conditions. I plan to rant more on this at another time. But the fact is that a lot of poorly made items from clothing to electronic goods, are shipped here for this nation of consumers ( aka chump, sucker, the mark ). Shoddy merchandise.

Are you sick of it yet, American consumer? I sure as heck am! Which brings me to restocking fees... The merchandiser has found yet another way to sock it to the consumer. Bad enough we have gone from "lifetime guarantee" to big ticket items that only are have a 30 to 90 day up to a year warranty on the outside, bad enough the stores try and sell us worthless warranties on top of the purchase price of whatever item we purchase. The stores ( both on and offline ) now want us to pay a "restocking fee."Anywhere from 10 to 15% for returning something that doesn't work right. The excuse is people will buy items and then return them, having only wanted to use them for a short while. This is an insult to the consumer and says we are all con artists out to rip off the local store. How about the stores and the big manufacturers who have been ripping off the consumer with shoving shoddy merchandise down our throats for decades now? Whether I am a yuppie ( which I certainly am not ) or some working class joe or jane who saved up for a long time to buy some big ticket item, do not insult me as a customer if I bring it back because it didn't work right and you tell me that you need to deduct a restocking fee from the total. I do not care if you tell me that you will give me a gift certificate for your store ( if the item I bought is no longer available ) or if you want to give me a duplicate of what I just purchased. Treatment like this is going to mean you have lost a customer. And in these uncertain economic times do you really want to do that?

I have also heard that the stores are planning to charge restocking fees for returned gifts after Christmas. BAH HUMBUG! Stores need to start treating their customers with some respect. Or they will find their little empires crumbling into the sand. And how about putting America back to work at decent wages with good health care that does not cost an arm and a leg, decent pensions. Put America back to work so that when we, the consumer, go in to buy something, there is less of a chance that we will need to return it because it was shoddy in the first place.

They should warn us {RANT}

2008-11-19T17:01:00.000-08:00

Menopause is not fun. This is pretty much common knowledge. HOWEVER. What they do NOT tell you is that things can be worse AFTER rather than before you go through menopause. So let me explain all of this to you. Menopause is the term for when a woman no longer has the "curse."We stop having our monthly periods. YIPPIE! Ahhh... sort of. The time before we stop our periods, for around 5 years, on average, when we have wacky cycles, a period every 3 weeks or none for 3 months, is known as peri menopause. Menopause is when one has not had a period for a year. The time after that is known as post menopause. Most of what one reads tells how hellish it is during peri menopause. And then life is the life of Riley. My peri menopause was relatively painless. but the post menopause has been horrible. During peri I had heat flushes ( these are different from hot flashes as they are a feeling of being slightly flushed with a warm feeling and might last all of 15 seconds or so ). I had mood swings, mostly mild though a few episodes were 10 minutes of bitchiness, 10 minutes of depression, things like that. And then I went through menopause and thought cool, no more periods, no more of menopause. It is OVER. Yeehaw! Little did I know... About 6 months ago or so things happened. Depression, anxiety, rage and flat out being antsy and restless. Pacing the floor sort of antsy. GRRRRRRRRR. NO FUN. And then there are the hot flashes...EEK. I turn 60 soon and thought all of this nonsense was OVER. It was done, kaput. Except it wasn't. So here I am with the mood swings from hell, with hot flashes, brain fogs... and when I checked it out on line, guess what? It turned out to be NORMAL! Why then, when they talk about menopause do they always mention menopause as if the years prior to it are the worst of it? Who knows? Maybe it is because for most women it is the worst. But we should be warned that menopause is not only peri. It is also post. And for some of us it it is worse after than before. And we need to know that when we think all of this nonsense is over it might only be beginning. How bad is it? How about having PMS plus hot flashes all month long? I just want to be normal again...I just want to be normal again. I just want to be normal again....

Snooty ( and often depressed, ornery and flat out cantankerous ) Aunt Cynthia

my new little blog

2008-11-18T16:10:00.000-08:00

11-0-08

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I finally get myself a loverly little blog. Yippie....

My wonderful brother Hal has been so very helpful in helping the tech dummy get set up

here. As I was typing Hal came on for my first video chat. Mom was over at his house and he had her on as well. What fun! Shades of video phones and the Jetsons! Now about this little blog of mine... about that so cute ( I am hahahaha ) so hot (hotter than can be and fabulously cool besides... ) and so old ( I turn 60 in December so I am getting to the old part ).My name is Cynthia and I am an aunt and I am snooty upon the occasion. So I shall be known here as Snooty Aunt Cynthia or SAC. But I am not a sad sac (k) but rather I m a glad SAC ( usually ). That is a half full glass of lemonade. And the glad is like the Pollyanna Glad Game. I do have rants and raves and reviews. The rants might be about anything under the sun but then again the raves could also be about anything either.

Ok, that is enough for this virgin voyage. Ta ta 4 now duckies,

Snooty Aunt Cynthia